Wow. Just...wow.

TV evangelist Jerry Falwell dies at 73

Umm...I know we're supposed to have respect for the dead and everything, but...What d'ya think...?

Escalator up? Or Elevator down?

Happy Mothers' Day

I miss you so much, Mama.

Crazies on Craigslist

Inspired by Wendi Muse's examination of her local CraigsList, I've decided to take a peek at the offerings on the Nashville site.

Y'all, I cannot make this stuff up if I tried! (My translations, notes, and additions.)

• Bored and wants somebody to talk to! - 37
  Boring person seeks same.
  
• very tall...very slender woman wanted...
  For a very short...very fat man...because I'm not shallow at all...
  
• Any Nice Girls Left??? - 27
  i just want a friend i can talk to....have a few drinks with....go dancing with...and just have a nice evening... and who won't care about my whining...is that alot to ask for??...got some free time and don't want to spend it alone....dear God...not another night alone!
• We live very very short lives... - 27 You've got to see this one for yourselves.
• A BEAUTIFUL MIND - 36
  I am coming on a business trip from June 24 trough July 4th.
  I am looking for a NSA female for quality time.
  I am getting a double queen bedroom and I will take acre (sorry, I don't fix typos) of feeding you.
  hit me up, lets have fun.
  I am from california.
  He could've saved so much time if he just said "Fuckbuddy Wanted".
• What the heck.... - 42
  I had plans tonight, but unfortunately they were canceled. Therefore I have nothing going on this evening. So, I decided I would see if today was a lucky day for me. I am 42 and single, not married nor dating anyone. If you are reading this, then maybe you have no plans for this evening. We could meet for dinner, take in a show, go to the event at Riverfront, makes no difference to me.
  Hello, Plan B!
• Looking and wishing, are you there??? - 30
  Hi, I'm a male in my thirties. I'm looking to find someone to identify with, laugh with, grow with, discover with and yes...even moan with at times. Not after the empty banging of hips, been there done that and have nothing to show for it. I am fit, and attractive. I don't want to be heartless or rude, but there's a reason plants have blooms. There has to be something to attract otherwise the species would never breed and die out. So, that being said, I'm not seeking the "pefect 10" but I am really turned off by fat. There has to be an attraction to accompany everything otherwise it's just friends. Having said that, it doesn't mean that I am looking for Carmen Electra. NOT AT ALL. It's been my experience that the connection of the mind is beyond that of the body. I've always leaned more to the type of girl who looks pretty without makeup and a million dollar hairdo. So, having said that, you should basicly be intelligent and either fit or thinish...sorry if being honest makes me shallow. Your pic gets mine. Well, shall we?
  It's a wonder he's still single.
• The truth shall set you free - 30 Nothing to say here, folks. I'm just shaking my head at this one.
• i don't wanna be a virgin anymore. - 23
  Somebody fuck me, please!!!
• Broken hearted Brazilian with a car available to do anything you can i - 26 The hell?
• Grown Man seeking a young Single Mom
  Could you use some help?
  My best relationship was a younger struggling single mom.
  I am looking for that again.
  Need a helpful loving man?
  Either he has "mommy" issues, or he wants your kids. Either way: RUN!!
  

And last, but not least:

• I NEED ME SOME GIRLIES! - 20
  Dear God, don't let him procreate.

And ladies, your ads aren't any better. I'll defintitely be back for more!

Introducing: The College Party Form Letter!

Did you and your fraternity buddies host a racist party and now you find yourself having to apologize for it to the entire community? Why not use this simple and easy form letter?

Dear [offended party],

I am deeply sorry for what I did. I cannot fully express to you in words the regret I am feeling right now for the pain that I have caused. Please understand that in no way was it my intention to be offensive to you or anyone else in any way. At the time I did not believe [insert actions] conveyed [racist, sexist, ageist, homophobic, etc.] ideals, however, I in no way wished to hurt anyone. [Insert action(s)] [was/were] intended to be light-hearted and funny. Never did I wish to degrade the [Black, Hispanic, LGBT, etc.] community, and at the time, I did not expect that it would be taken so offensively. In this, I made a serious error in judgment. I am aware of the grave mistake I made; it was wrong, hurtful, andoffensive for me to do what I did.

I am actively working to improve myself and learn from this grave mistake. Again I apologize for offending you or anyone else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOOGIE!

Happy 23rd Birthday to my "baby" sister!