Don't Read This Blog

Just Don't F#@& Her!

2012-01-23T11:37:00.000-08:00

So, Zerlina of Feministing is now a contributor at Ebony magazine's website. Her first post was "Stop Telling Woman How Not to Get Raped: Our Victim Blaming Tactics Do Little to Prevent Sexual Assault":

No more ad campaigns and public service announcements targeted at women to teach them how to avoid rape. It’s not effective, it’s offensive, and it’s also a lie. Telling women that they can behave in a certain way to avoid rape creates a false sense of security and it isn’t the most effective way to lower the horrible statistics which show that 1 in 5 women will become victims of a completed or attempted rape in their lifetime. The numbers for African American women are even higher at nearly 1 in 4.

We need anti-rape campaigns that target young men and boys. Campaigns that teach them from a young age how to respect women, and ultimately themselves, and to never ever be rapists. In addition, we should implore our men and boys to call out their friends, relatives, and classmates for inappropriate behavior and create systems of accountability amongst them.

Think of this way: Drunk driving prevention has always targeted the potential perpetrator. They say how to tell if you're too drunk to drive, the importance of finding a designated driver, and what consequences you could face if you're arrested for drunk driving. (Even liquor ads tell you to "please drink responsibly".) Not one PSA is about how to avoid being hit by a drunk driver on the road, yet almost all rape prevention PSAs are about how to avoid getting raped.

For some baffling reason, this new approach to rape prevention has gotten some pushback. In the comment section of Zerlina's article, I've noticed that most of the criticism falls into 6 categories:

1) Of course men know that rape is wrong! Stop painting all men as rapists!

First of all, not all men know that rape is wrong because not all men know what rape is. As a matter of fact, "Estimates of the percentage of men who acknowledge committing rape and attempted rape have come from studies that ask questions about sexually violent behavior without labeling such behavior as 'rape' or 'assault.'" And until the government starts mandating that rapists where T-shirts with the words "I am A Rapist" on them, I'll exercise on the side of caution.

2) It isn't fair to make men responsible for other men's behavior.

Then, why is it fair to make women responsible for men's behavior?:

"What were you wearing?"

"Did you smile at him?"

"Did you say no?"

"What did you say to make him think you were interested?"

"Why were you there?"

"Were you unconscious?"

"Are you sure you told him no?"

We're not asking for a man to come riding in a white steed. But if your of your pals is acting like a jerk and harassing someone, try to keep him in check. And while you're at it, check your own behavior.

3) What about the women who rape men? Why doesn't this prevention program include them?

There are organizations out there who provide support to men who have been victims of rape. It is unfortunate that more coverage isn't being given on this issue. However, 9 out 10 victims of rape are women. One shouldn't ignore the gendered aspect of this crime.

4) You're living in a fantasy world if you think women shouldn't learn to protect themselves. Anything could happen. Don't blame it all on men.

Remember when you were younger and you were told to always look both ways before crossing the street? What if you looked both ways, but still got hit by a car? Is the appropriate response "He shouldn't have crossed the street if he didn't want to get hit by that car" or "The driver shouldn't have hit that pedestrian with his car"?

5) There will always be murders, serial killers, and rapists. Talking to them and trying to teach them won't work.

Why bother getting out of bed each morning if we have to back in the evening? Why bother eating when we're going to be hungry again in a few hours? Why bother cleaning ourselves if we're just going to get dirty again? Why bother getting an education/enjoying your passions/living life if we're all just going to die?

6) What about the women who make false allegations or claim rape after already having sex?

Again, in D.C., the severity of a sex abuse charge depends entirely upon the
actions of the perpetrator, and not at all on the feelings of the victim. The
legal system does not care how traumatized the victim is, whether the victim has
changed her mind about how she feels about her sexual assault since it happened,
or whether the victim wants to press charges. Let's recap: According to the law,
the only things that matter are: (a) whether the perpetrator had reason to know
that the victim did not consent, (b) whether the perpetrator had reason to know
that the victim could not consent, and (c) whether the rapist used force. D.C.
law is only concerned with the severity of the rapist's actions—not whether the
victim "secretly liked it," "totally wanted it," or "only regretted it
later."

Source. Local laws vary, of course. But that's not the point. If a man is so concerned about a woman pressing charges against him even after enthusiastically agreed to sex, then the only solution is....

...

wait for it....

...

DON'T FUCK HER.

Think about it: She might be real fun now but she could turn into a real bitch later. After all, you have been told by your parents, friends, and daytime television that you shouldn't talk to strange women in bars. She might lie about you and your intentions. What will your friends and family think? They might shun you and never look at the same way again. How will this affect your career and your home life? Your life may never be the same again.

It isn't fair, is it? It's also not fair that women have had to endure that kind of scrutiny when they report a rape. As Zerlina says in another post, "No one should go to prison based on a false rape claim, but no woman should be forced into a prison of silence based on theoretical speculation about the possibility of women making up rape stories for sport."

I really think that behind all of the criticism for men-targeted rape prevention programs is the idea that men are entitled to sex: "'No' means 'yes', 'maybe' means 'try harder'." Nice Guys® lament the fact that women won't sleep with them even after they done all that hard work like listening to their thoughts and ideas, helping them out, and being their friend. Men train to become pick-up artists to learn just the right words to say to a woman in order to convince her to have sex. The idea that men might be better of just saying no to sex is completely foreign.

So, if you're worried that she might accuse you of raping her after you've had sex: JUST DON'T FUCK HER.

If you're not sure whether "no" means "yes": JUST DON'T FUCK HER.

If you don't know if she's too drunk to consent: JUST DON'T FUCK HER.

Don't take this mean that I'm against sex. I am, however, against men who say that the reason it's so hard to navigate around rape laws is because of "angry, man-hating feminists", instead of examining their own complicity to rape culture. Instead of being angry that rape prevention is finally targetting more than one half of the population, wonder about how to stop rape from occuring in the first place.

Update @ 4:04 PM, CST: OMG! I just found this!

Reading Project

2011-12-15T14:00:00.000-08:00

I've volunteered for an interesting assignment: As you may or may not know, I work in a residential facility for juvenile offenders. The facility just received a large donation of books and board games from one of the local high schools. Before we can put the books into the facility library for ciculation, however, they need to be screened for "appropriate content". That includes sexual situations, graphic violence, drug use, and any situations that can be construed as being gang-related. Even though it seems silly that a movie like "West Side Story" wouldn't be able to get a pass, we serve a very specific group of youth. Besides, I don't make the rules. I just screen the material.

Anyway, some of the books were easy to screen by title or book jacket description alone. The Little Ballerina? Yes. A book about two characters meeting in an "adult toy store". No. Volcanoes and Other Natural Disasters. Yes. A book about the gadgets seen in the James Bond movies? Wait a sec - there's no way they'd get past the name Pussy Galore.

Since most of these actually have to be read before putting them into circulation, I thought it'd be an interesting idea to write about what I read. I'm going to start reading a couple of the books this weekend. Hopefully by this time next week, I'll have a review posted.

Racefail in Occupy Nashville

2011-11-14T07:23:00.001-08:00

This is a copy of an e-mail I just to the leaders of the Occupy Nashville movement. I will update if I receive a response.

Hello,

I had heard on the news this morning that Occupy Nashville was planning a human auction this morning to protest the privatization of prisons. I had hoped that I was mistaken. Unfortunately, I logged on to your website and discovered that it was true.

You claim that the protest is in response to, amongst other things, the "brutal treatments of prisoners in a mass incarceration system that systematically disenfranchises our African-American brothers and sisters". If you truly cared about your "African-American brothers and sisters", you wouldn't mock the brutal history of our ancestors by holding this auction. Yes, slavery ended long ago, but the institutional racism it created still exists today.

Even though I can't be there in person, I do support the Occupy movement and what it stands for. I was proud when I learned that it would be coming to my city. However, I'm upset that the thoughts and feelings of those who make up the majority of the people oppressed by the 1% - *my* African-American brothers and sisters - were not taken into consideration when this auction was being planned. I hope that you rethink your position, and cancel the auction.

Sincerely,

[real name redacted]

Update (2:29 PM CST): I still haven't received a reply, but I did notice that they deleted the words "Human Auction" from the Google Calendar Page. However, according to the Facebook page the auction will go on as plan. It's supposed to start at 3:30 PM CST, so we'll see.

Update (11:32 PM CST): They had the auction. No amount of outrage of outrage on Facebook, no amount of angry or concerned e-mails was going to keep them from showing their white privilege. Can't say I'm surprised. It's Slutwalk NYC all over again. Whatever. I'm through. I just cannot trust white progressive movements. I can't.

There were always questions as to whether the movement was truly inclusive. Even after allegations of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and blatant racism arose, there were still men and women from diverse backgrounds who came forth and said that the Occupy movement is something for all of us, something that everyone should become involved in.

And then this shit happens.

Oh, I don't blame them. And I know that one small branch of the movement doesn't necessary speak for the entire thing.

Or do I.

As I said before, this is Slutwalk NYC all over again. Even though Slutwalk Toronto came out with a great statement condemning what happened (even though the organizers of Slutwalk NYC did the same), how can I be sure that this shit won't happen again?

I can't.

And that's why I don't trust. I can't trust. If I do trust, then that means giving people of the benefit of doubt, even while they say I'm being "divisive", "hostile", "silly", "angry", etc. It means trying to make them understand where I'm coming from, when it's obvious that they don't give a damn. It means seeking support and finding none.

Well, fuck it.

I can't do it anymore. I won't do it anymore.

Find a new "Black Friend" because I'm not putting up with it anymore.

Dear Penn State Students:

2011-11-10T07:06:00.001-08:00

Your priorities are fucked up.

Why weren't you rioting when you discovered that one of your coaches has been molesting little boys for the past 15 years? Where is the outrage over the fact that Paterno knew what was going on and lied about it in order to protect the molester and to cover his own ass? What is wrong with you people that you care more about this man's reputation than you do about what happened to those children?

Sandusky isn't the only one guilty in this matter. Those children have also been victimized by the people who didn't report the allegations to the police like they were supposed to and by the students who participated in the riot and revealed to those children that football takes priority over child abuse.

You disgust me.

Edit: more reactions to the riots:

NunesMagician.com: The Penn State Students Are an Embarassment to College Students Everywhere

Racialicious: What the Hell Has Penn State Become?

Feministe: Sure, children were raped but...

Lastly, I never thought I'd be linking to her, but when she's right:

The disgust over this scandal — this evil, this horror — transcends
partisanship.

Michelle Malkin: Pinheads at Penn State

Sigh...

2011-10-07T09:03:00.001-07:00

This poster was made by me at Big Huge Labs.

For Brianna and Every Other Little Girl in the Same Situation

2011-08-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

[TRIGGER WARNING]

I am so proud of this girl:

Brianna said that there was this kid about nine or ten years old at camp, Michael, who had been bugging her all week. She said that it began with hits and pinches, pokes and staring. The usual bullshit that I think most kids are exposed to. But, she said that his behavior escalated. That Michael began saying things about her growing breasts and her ass — and that when she spoke to her group leader (an adult), she simply told Brianna to “Tell him to stop it.” No action was taken by this adult...On the last day of camp, as the kids piled onto a bus to come back into the city, the harassment resumed. This time, Michael decided that he was going to touch the parts he’d been commenting on. Brianna warned him, shoved him away and told this same adult — who was supervising this bus trip — what happened. The woman told Michael to leave her alone, and did nothing else. Brianna told this woman, “I’m gonna beat him up if he touches my chest again.”

He did it again; she socked him square in the face. The group leader rushed to this boy’s aid and called the police, citing Brianna’s age and size as reasons why she should not have hit Michael. The adult had the bus driver pull over, and she called the fucking cops. On a thirteen-year-old who acted in her own defense. Thankfully, the police never came. But: this woman did not follow camp procedure (no incident report, she did not contact Brianna’s mother or the other child’s primary caregiver). She called the fucking police. Who, thankfully, never came.

Bitch needs to lose her job over this. Yes, I called her a bitch and I don't really give a fuck. She stood by and did NOTHING while a child was being sexually harassed and assaulted. And then had the damn nerve to call the police when she defended herself. I'll say it again: Bitch needs to lose her job.

The title of that post is called "I Don't Have a Title for This; I'm Too Busy Being Angry." It was written by one of Brianna's co-parents. Please click on the link above to show your support.

The Homeless Diet

2011-07-28T11:00:00.001-07:00

I've been getting a lot of compliments lately about my weight loss. "You look good! Have you lost weight?" "Are you on a new program?" "Have you been doing any exercises?"

"No," I tell them. "Nothing really." I just haven't been able to eat like I want to.

In her recent interivew with Shape magazine, Rosario Dawson said:

After losing weight to play a drug addict dying of HIV/AIDS in the 2005 film "Rent," she was stunned to hear compliments about her figure. "I remember everyone asking what did you do to get so thin? You looked great," Dawson recalled. "I looked emaciated."

Before my mother passed away due to cancer, she also received compliments from her friends on her weight loss. I remember being so damn angry. She wasn't on any weight-loss program; she had cancer, FFS!

What are you supposed to tell people in a situation like this? It's difficult to just accept the compliment because you know that you would rather not have to be in the situation that made you lose weight in the first place. I would take a few extra pounds and few more inches on my waistline over having to live out my car any day of the week!

Have any of you been in a situation like this? Did any illness or a misfortune force a change on your body that you were complimented on? How did you deal with it?

Vulnerability

2011-07-12T18:22:00.000-07:00

One the rare occasion one finds an article or editorial sympathetic to the plight of homeless people, the word “vulnerable” is often used. But I wonder if they, or we, even realize just how vulnerable we really are.

Whenever I’m at the shelter, I can easily spot dozens of wrongs that, in any other situation would be labeled a civil rights violation: women publicly humiliated about personal health conditions, lack of access for the disabled, improper cleanliness of the facilities, among other things. Unfortunately, the shelter I go to, and many others are exempt because 1) they are run by religious organizations, and 2) they receive no government funding. Therefore, they are not obligated to abide by HIPAA, ADA, or the any of the other laws pertaining to institutions and civil rights.

So, where does that leave us?

The shelter does provide forms with which to write a grievance. However, there is no formal grievance policy to ensure that 1) the grievances are heard, and 2) there is no risk of retaliation for filing a grievance. Which brings me to my second point: The staff is very, very small. How can one be certain that a grievance will be taken seriously amongst a staff of half a dozen members?

Perhaps we should appeal to public and garner their sympathies…

What sympathies? In Toronto, a program that brings in "starchitects" and upscale furniture designers to renovate local homeless shelters has gone under fire:

“A lot of the housing for the homeless is offered under the premise that these people don’t deserve good housing,” says [Victor Willis, executive director at Parkdale Activity Recreation Centre in Toronto], who partnered with Public Displays of Affection, a Toronto-based design cooperative that teaches free design workshops and aims to bring designer wares to at-risk communities. “(The attitude is) they don’t respect themselves and so why should we?”

And that’s not just a Canadian sentiment: In Coeur D’Alene, ID, the closing of a neighborhood homeless shelter brings no sympathy from the citizenry. (Read the comments at the bottom. Or better yet, don’t.) And in Burlington, KY, debate has sprung up over whether homeless people should even given the right to vote because they are unable to register a proper address. Here in Nashville, there is a movement called the Nashville Downtown Partnership that actively discourages giving money to homeless panhandlers on the presumption that “they often use your money to support their addictions to alcohol and drugs.”

But what if there was a way? What if, one day, a big-shot attorney or a well-respected journalist finds this blog post. Then with his or her help, we start a media campaign to bring light to all of the injustices served at this shelter and others like it, and under the pressure of the community or under the pressure fix all of the hazards and retrain staff to properly cater to the needs of its clients, the shelter closes...

And there would be no where else to go.

And that is where our true vulnerability lies. There are some who admire the idea of not being tied down to one place and having to the freedom to do and move about as we please, but what they and what most people realize is that we are trapped.

We can't demand better treatment. Who'll be willing to give it to us?

We can't demand respect. We "don't respect ourselves."

We can't plead for understanding when people refuse to listen.

And this is what it's like to be homeless. And this is what I and millions of other men, women, and children live with on a daily basis.

And it's terrifying.

Religion in Progressive Spaces

2011-06-01T15:04:00.000-07:00

CHRISTIANS AND PROGRESSIVES ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

Again:

CHRISTIANS AND PROGRESSIVES ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

Again:

CHRISTIANS AND PROGRESSIVES ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

One more time:

CHRISTIANS AND PROGRESSIVES ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

Every time the subject of religion comes up in a progressive space, there are always those "progressives" who are so dismissive of religions and the religious to the point of being downright hateful. It isn't unusual for the terms "fairy tales" and "sky fairies" to be tossed around. The ire is usually directed to Christians and Christians, but it can also be directed towards Islam (especially to Muslim women who are often seen by Feminists(tm) as not knowing any better). Those who follow pagan religions are usually either given a pass or are completely ignored.

Before I continue, I think it's important to state that:

IN THE U.S., CHRISTIANS HAVE RELIGIOUS PRIVILEGE.

Again:

IN THE U.S., CHRISTIANS HAVE RELIGIOUS PRIVILEGE.

One more time:

IN THE U.S., CHRISTIANS HAVE RELIGIOUS PRIVILEGE.

I just want to be clear that I fully acknowledge my religious privilege. In the U.S., ideals, attitudes, services, and beliefs are almost always geared towards my religious preferences. I will never be in a position where I will be oppressed because my value system, my beliefs, and the way I worship are seen as wrong and immoral. I can look almost anywhere for affirmation of the existence of my God. I will never be persecuted because of my belief in Jesus Christ.

However...

I find it frustrating and oftentimes infuriating when people completely and utterly disrespect my Christianity and my beliefs because of some preconceived notions of what they believe Christianity to be.

I'm not the type of person to ignore Christianity's troubling history (The Crusades, missionaries, forced conversion, child molestation by the clergy, etc., etc., the list goes on). I'm also not going to ignore the wrongs commited in the name of "Christianity" today (homophobia, Islamophia, bigotry, hatred, etc., etc., the list goes on). It pains me when so-called "Christians" use His name to justify their hatred. But that is not my Christianity.

My Christianity says that Jesus Christ loves all His children. He never turned anyone away - no matter their beliefs, their origins, their lifestyles, or their status and wealth. His heart is open to all. And THAT is the Jesus Christ I worship.

My goal in writing this post isn't to convert any non-believers. It's a pela for mutual respect. Many people have very legitimate reasons for being so emphatically against Christianity or against any type of religion. What should be understood, however, is that a person's beliefs (whether they are founded by spirituality, humanism, or any other type of belief system) is a fundamental part of who they are, and they should be respected as such.

I am not against criticizing Christianity or the belief in a deity. I believe that that one of the reasons God gave us free will is so that we can follow our own paths, and so that we can stop and ask questions when we are confused. I believe that for many Christians, honest criticism strengthens our faith and builds up our trust in The Lord. But just as a Christian will never convert anyone saying "Follow Christ or go to hell", a non-believer will never disprove to a Christian by calling God an "imaginary sky fairy." It's not going to happen, so just let it go.

Link Dump: "In Response To..." edition

2011-05-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

In response to the Kanazawa debacle, another Psychology Today blogger posts this:

The point is that there are also group differences, not in attractiveness (as Kanazawa claims), but in cultural messages about what is and is not attractive. Standards of beauty, like most other beliefs, are socialized and change not only from place to place but also over time. In both the United States and England, (where Kanazawa lives and works), standards of beauty are essentially "White" standards, because whites comprise the majority of the population and have disproportional control over both media and fashion. And while it is not just White respondents who are socialized this way (internalized racism has been well documented), it is certainly the case that White Americans and Europeans (who are less likely to have received more positive messages about Black beauty) would show the strongest anti-Black bias.

~ "Beauty May Be In Eye of Beholder But Eyes See What Culture Socializes"

Dirty Pretty Thangs has also posted a beeeeautiful response called "The Matriarchal Legacy of the Black Woman's Righteous Anger." Go read the whole thing. I'll wait.

...

Oh, you're back? Wasn't it awesome?

In response to a new law in Missouri that has banned nudity and lap dances in order to make lives more difficult for sex workers, Eva Rivera post this at Womanist Musings.

Equally troubling as the laws that were passed is the reactions to it. In an already fragile economy, lawmakers and community leaders should be demanding job creation and be outraged by these kinds of laws. The reason for the resounding silence has everything to do with the line of work we are involved in. When large manufacturing companies, who provide hundreds of jobs, close shop it makes front page news. It is made an example of. People highlight the devastation it causes to working families and rightly so. When this law was passed it was mentioned in near whispers. No outrage, no protests, no questions. Thousands of women and men unemployed instantly.

In response to sexual assault, The Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton (Alberta, Canada) has created the "Don't Be That Guy" campaign that targets potential offenders, instead of potential victims:

Why our campaign is different

Typically, sexual assault awareness campaigns target potential victims by urging women to restrict their behavior. Research is telling us that targeting the behavior of victims is not only ineffective, but also contributes to how much they blame themselves after the assault. That's why our campaign is targeting potential offenders - they are the ones responsible for the assault and responsible for stopping it.

In response to the "Don't Say Gay" bill that recently passed the Tennessee Senate and would forbid teacher from discusses any form of sexuality other than heterosexuality, George Takei has developed his own campaign

The so-called “don’t say gay” law is premised on the misguided belief that, by not talking about gay people, they can simply make us disappear.
I am here to tell Tennessee, and all the LGBT youth and teachers who would be affected by this law, that I am here for you. In fact, I am lending my name to the cause. Any time you need to say the word “gay,” you can simply say “Takei.”
For example, you could safely proclaim that you are a supporter of ‘Takei marriage’.

That man is so awesome!

Beautiful Black Women

2011-05-17T07:59:00.001-07:00

Since everyone else has already posted about Satoshi Kanezawa's racist, pseudo-scientific garbage, I would just like to highlight The Angry Black Women's awesome series featuring Beautiful Black Women of the world.

As of this posting, the (ongoing?)* list includes

singer-songwriter, Tammi Terrell actress, Salli Richardson (fan-girl SQUEEEE!!!)

actress and producer, Angela Bassett

actress, Zezé Motta

*ABW has decided to continue this series for the rest of the week. She also suggested nominating "real world" (not models and actresses) Black women. So, I would like to nominate two Beautiful Black Women that are very close to my heart: my nieces, Sienna (left) and Shamari.

Link Dump: "Hellz Yes!" edition

2011-04-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

A Few Basic Truths; What I Think About “Concern Trolling”

I don’t give two shits what a “normal” healthful body supposedly looks like – STEP OFF OF MY BODY. I don’t care if people don’t think I’m healthy – because it isn’t any of their business anyway. I am FED TO THE TEETH of the idea that shaming me for my own damn good will accomplish anything other than miserable people leading miserable lives.

BGG (Black Girl Gamer)–LFG, PST!

While several gamers are fighting for the right to game with all the controversy surrounding the community as of late, there are a few of us women gamers waging another kind of war in our own respective communities. It’s not just the standard girl gamer war, where there is incessant name calling, references to genitalia or even the normal male chauvinist crap. The battle is having to defend why we are even playing games, in the first place. Why would “we” be playing games, because black women don’t play games.

Consider own deeds before asking Muslims to condemn terrorism

Jesus made the right-wing religionists of his era unhappy because his heart was big enough to reach not only to Jews of other parties but to Samaritans and Gentiles. He was smarter than some of his followers. He knew he could not even talk with those he wanted to win over by insulting them and demeaning the things they held sacred.

Insults v. Catcalling: The Most Offensive

2011-03-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

JuJuBe from My Name Is JuJuBe and The Intersection of Madness and Reality recently did a guest post over at Womanist Musings called "The Street Harassment Experience in a Fat Body" in which she states:

I have a confession to make. As embarrassing as it is to admit, particularly in this forum, I feel like I have to share, particularly after watching the recently posted video regarding street harassment. I am just going to come right out and say it. For all of the women who experience cat calls on a regular basis while walking down the street, I have something to tell you. I am envious.
Yes, I understand that for you, being the object of public harassment is painful. And, I am sure I would feel totally different if it were happening to me on a regular basis. But, I have to be truthful....when I hear your stories, I often wish it were me.
See, I am used to another sort of harassment on the street. I am used to being called out for being the fat girl. I am accustomed to dirty looks and stares because I do not fit into the standard image of beauty in this society. I have been screamed out from moving vehicles. I have been given the finger and called all sorts of names. I have had soda thrown at me from a car window. Because I have the audacity to go out in public in a fat body.

...

I would never tell a woman that she is wrong to be offended by catcalls or men approaching her on the street to beg for her name and number. But, I simply do not understand it, because it is so vastly different from my own experience. And part of me, the part that has been told over and over again that I am worthless because I am “unattractive” is quite a bit jealous.

Being a fat woman myself, I've also been subject to insults, namecalling, and harassment. And, I'm ashamed to admit, I've even felt a little jealous when I was shoved me out the way so that a couple of guys could get a better look at my younger (and smaller) sister. I do understand the pain that she's feeling. Society tells women (and men) that only one type of physical beauty is acceptable, and that if we don't conform to that type of beauty we lose value. However, whether it's catcalls and lewd stares or insults and bullying, it's all about the privileged class trying to assert its power.

Bullying and street harassment are both very triggering subjects for me, but I want to give you an example of how this sort of thing screws up your sense of self-worth: Throughout most of my children and into my adulthood, I was teased, laughed at, insulted, and bullied about my weight. Some of it came from strangers, classmates, and some came from my own family. And it hurts. It hurts like hell, and it's not something that's easily forgotten or easily forgiven, especially when you turn on the TV or log onto the Internet and every other advertisement is for a Miracle Weight Loss Cure!!1!!11 that is guaranteed to get rid of all of your "ugly, bulging fat" and make you ***super-attractive!11!!!*** This type of bullshit is driven into our heads constantly - that the only way to live a happy and fullfilling life is if we looked (and acted) a certain way. This type of shit eats away at you, so when you see or hear about someone being sexually harassed, you might think that that sort of attention could uplift your spirits. After all, if he didn't think she was pretty, he wouldn't have shown her that type of attention. At least, her beauty is being acknowledged, while mine (if there is any beauty to find) is being trampled on, spat upon, ignored, and thrown away. Right?

I'm not saying that JuJuBe is wrong for feeling that she does, but we all need to recognize that having those feelings puts the power back into the harassers hands. Sexual harassment, like any form of sexual abuse, is not about sexual desire; it's about power, the desire to control someone that is perceived as being weaker. It's awful when we get pushed down so much that we feel we need acknowledgement by abusers in order to feel attractive.

Despite my size (or maybe even because of it), I've also been sexually harassed. Having experienced both forms of abuse (and that's exactly what they are - forms of abuse) I would never put one experience over the other. It isn't fair to even contrast the two, especially when there are women out there who have suffered greatly from all types of abusive situations. Fat-hatred and street harassment cause fear, humiliation, pain, anger, depression, and other long-term and short-term effects. If you were hit by and car and broke your leg, and the person in the hospital bed next to you got their broken leg from falling from a ladder and then tells you, "I wish I had broken my leg from getting hit by the car" what's the point in that? You still have the broken leg!

I apologize if that last example was too simplistic, but I think it illustrates my frustration. I know it wasn't her intent, but JuJuBe's post made me feel as though she was privileging one form of harassment over another. The only ones with privilege in either scenario are the harassers.

Lloyd Oliver

2011-03-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

Source.

It took a little effort to get Lloyd Oliver into a dress coat in 2001 as he
prepared to receive a 24-karat Congressional Gold Medal for being one of the
original 29 Navajo Code Talkers. But when he saw the Marine Corps C-9 plane sent
by his fellow Marines to take him to the Washington, D.C., celebration, his shy
demeanor fell away and he beamed.
Oliver, who died Wednesday at age 87 of pancreatitis, is being remembered as a humble man, a talented silversmith and proud patriot.

H/T, Resist Racism.

Gearbox Doesn't Need Women's Money

2011-03-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

...apparently:

Duke Nukem Forever’s “Capture the Babe” CTF variant requires you to abduct
a woman to score. The mode is revealed in the latest issue of Official
Xbox Magazine US where they explain that Gearbox will give the option to
give her a “slap” if she “freaks out” as you drag her across the map.

H/T, Geek Feminism Blog

Feminist Coming-Out Day

2011-03-10T05:54:00.000-08:00

Today is Feminist Coming-Out Day*. It's a day where feminist bloggers and other feminist writers everywhere will talk about how important feminism is, why it's important to identify yourself as a feminist, and why feminism is relevant today.

But I won't.

Today, I decided to talk about why I'm not a feminist. Or rather, why I'm not a Feminist™.

Before I continue, allow me to clarify a few things:

First of all, feminism is important and it is relevant to today's society. There are however, different kinds of feminism out there. First there is feminism: The idea that women should be given fair and equal treatment in regards to all things including, but not limited to, the right to body automony, the right to equal pay for equal work, and the right to be seen as more than a sexual object. (This is, of course, an extremely abridged version.) Then there is Feminism™: The active participation of individuals who seek the feminist ideal. However, in order to become a Feminist™ one must adhere to a specific set of ideals. La Lubu gives the best definition of Feminists™ in a comment thread at Feministe:

“The feminist blogosphere is: young, but not too young (25-35); mostly
white (and of northern european extraction); middle to upper-middle class;
highly educated (always degreed, usually grad school or law degree); able-bodied
and healthy; non-religious (but typically with a Protestant or Jewish
background); childfree by choice (also not a caretaker of an elderly or disabled
adult); body size from thin to very thin; cisgender; heterosexual;
conventionally feminine/pretty; fashionable; not employed in a nontraditional
(>25% female participation) workforce; native English speaking (family of
origin usually native English speaking also); non-indigenous and several
generations removed from immigrant ancestors; raised in a nuclear family (either
intact or divorced—but not “unwed” or extended family); lives in a large
metropolis; favors capitalism; unmarried/unpartnered (meaning: no formal or
legal ties of responsibility to a partner); never incarcerated (no family
incarcerated either); and has plenty of personal contact with people in
positions of actual power (gets invited to policymaking
meetings/summits).”

So, what about those of us who don't fit all of those descriptors?

Keep in mind that none of this has been explicitly stated in Feminism™. There is no sign saying, "You must this white/straight/educated/etc. to enter." What La Lubu was referring to was the erasure that Feminism™ often engages in. In the fight for women's rights, Feminists™ often forget that oppressions intersect, that one woman's truth will not be another woman's truth, and they also forget that one woman's outrage may be another woman's choice.

For example, several years ago I was on a Yahoo! forum about general new items of the day, and somehow, the topic of feminism came up. (Unfortunately, the forum has since been deleted due to an infestation of trolls.) One woman declared, very emphatically, that she is not and will never be a feminist. I was shocked because all of her previous posts revealed a progressive point of view, and I had even agreed with her on most points. As I said, this happened a few years ago before I discovered the many facets of feminism and Feminism™. I had thought she was responding to the stereotype of the "man-hating feminist", so I took her to task: "If you value equal rights for women, I'm sorry but that makes you a feminist." She then told me about how a group of Feminists™ had confronted her at the strip club where she worked as an exotic dancer. They told her she was degrading herself and all women. They had also assumed (wrongly) that the reason she was doing it was as a subconscious response to being sexually assaulted at a young age.

Feminists™ often have a view narrow view of the world and, for a group that detests stereotypical images of women, a narrow view of what a woman should be. They believe that a woman should have agency over her own life, but often claim that women who choose traditional roles for themselves are naive or are being brainwashed into colluding with the patriarchy. Feminists™ also believe in "Women/Womyn first!" but when asked to support a WOC in the fight against racism or to support trans or intersexed persons in their fight for equality, they become silent. When confronted about their own unearned privileges, things can get really nasty, really quickly.

Even though I'm not a Feminist™, I stil believe in feminism. I prefer to call myself a womanist. Alice Walker is quoted as saying, "Womanist is to feminism, as purple is to lavender." But for me, womanism goes deeper than that. Womanism isn't just Black women's feminism; it's about intersectionality. Black women are oppressed by racism and sexism. Some Black women are also oppressed by homophobia, ableism, transphobia, fatphobia, classism and religious persecution. Not only must be vigilant against all types of oppression suffered by Black women, we must also consider the trials faced by our Asian and Latina/o brothers and sisters at home and abroad. It's not enough to say "Women First!" when the voices of all women are not being heard.

I'm not very good with conclusions, so I'll just close by saying the same thing to Feminists™ that feminists and womanists have been saying for decades:

Get your shit together.

*Is it just me, or does appropriating the phrase "coming-out" seem tacky?

Transgender

2011-02-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

So I decided to check out this thread over at “I Blame The Patriarchy” when I came across this gem in the comments section*:

justpassingthrough
February 11, 2011 at 2:42 am
You see, the word “woman” is the most important word in a feminist’s lexicon. Like it or not, it’s a word imbued with political, anthropological, sociological, psychological, historical, and, lastly, medical meaning. It is not so much a physical descriptor as it is a biography of half the human race. It says something about where we’ve been, what sorts of issues we’ve faced, what obstacles we’ve had to overcome. It means that when we look into the eyes of another woman, we will always see part of ourselves reflected back to us. That connection doesn’t happen arbitrarily; it doesn’t happen
because we share, or have shared, reproductive organs; it doesn’t happen because
we share “female brain” and love gossiping, shoe shopping and “chick flicks” (ew, ew and eww). That connection is borne of a lifetime of understanding what it means to be a woman, which is to say, the shared rituals, traditions, hopes, fears, trials and tribulations experienced exclusively by girl children raised in a patriarchy. Which sounds, understandably, like the manifesto of the She-Woman Trans Hater’s Club to those former boy children whose personalties did not lend themselves to easy assimilation into the He-Man Woman Hater’s Club of patriarchy. They wanted to jump the fence and hang out with us, they wanted membership in our club because, of the only two clubs in town, it was the club they felt most at home in.
Understandable. How could any empathetic former female child of patriarchy deny the necessity of banding together with those you most closely relate to? It’s a logical, if not psychologically expedient, endeavor. So here’s the deal. A person cannot become something they are not, anymore than a scientist can transmute lead into gold. The best that can be achieved is a semblance of the thing they aspire to be. Breast implants, hormone therapy and reconstructed genitalia create the facsimile of a woman – not *a* woman. To argue that womanhood can be procured through scalpels, silicone, and a somewhat chemically altered physiology is reductionist at best and a great whopping insult to those of us who take our womanhood way damn seriously. We’ve fucking earned it. All our lives we’ve been told to make concessions for others, we’ve been told we haven’t got the right to ownership of our own bodies, for goodness sake, and now we’re being told we have to sacrifice ownership of
womanhood – and, yes, that is exactly what it would be, a sacrificial knife to the heart of the biography of half the human race – and all because some members of the opposite sex covet it? How fucking codependent. How fucking typical. Let’s fucking transcend this idiocy already.

I have to admit, it wasn’t very long ago that I felt the exact the same way. But then, something incredibly amazing happened…

I got over myself.

I realized that when trans-men and trans-women spoke out against the discrimination and injustices they were facing, they spoke from their real experiences and with genuine emotion. I was missing pieces of a larger puzzle that were preventing me from being sympathetic to their cause, and it was my job to seek it out. So, I began doing some research.

It would be disingenuous of me to claim any sort of expert knowledge on the issues of the trans-persons. However, in my research I have come to several conclusions:

(If anything in this post is offensive to my trans-brothers and –sisters, please let me know so I can make it right. Like all privileged people, I might stick my foot in my foot in my mouth once in a while. I am trying to learn, however, so I want to apologize now.)

1) From birth, we are raised to conform to a set of socially-acceptable rules as to how our assigned gender should act. (Example: Girls are supposed to play dress-up and boys are supposed to play with guns.) If we stray from the rules, we are seen as weird or strange. (Example: Boys should never wear pink, and girls should always wear their hair long.) Thankfully, as kids grow older, we began to take on an attitude of “anything you can do I do better” and we begin to realize that it’s perfectly okay – and perfectly natural – to cross that blue and pink line…

2) …as long as you were still a “boy” or a “girl”. Transitioning from one assigned gender to another is about more than being a little boy who wants to wear dresses or being a little girl who wants to be more “manly”. I can’t explain why that is because I’ve never been uncomfortable in my own assigned gender; it would be disrespectful and downright ignorant for me to even claim I know what I’m talking about here. What I do know is that being a cisgendered woman – a woman who was born and raised as a woman – is a privilege. I’ll never know what it feels like to have been born in the wrong body, but as a human being it’s my duty to respect those who have.

3) The stick figures in the doors of public restrooms have been lying to us all. Gender, just like sexuality, is not a black-and-white thing. There are cisgendered, transgendered, intersexed, and gender queer people who don’t fit in society’s gender binary. And that’s perfectly fine. Gender roles in society have long been blurred; now it’s time for us to do the same thing with gender identity. Let people lives their lives as they see fit. To force one’s own mores and attitudes on another human being is fascist and wrong. Fuck dat shit!

If you want to learn more about the issues trans-people face, here are a couple of good places to start:

TransGriot

Questioning Transphobia

*Don't even get started on the kyriarchy-fail in that thread. >:P Blecch!

A Warm Bed

2011-02-09T14:06:00.000-08:00

It’s snowing again down here in Nashville. They’ve forecasted approximately 1.5” of snow, so you know everybody has lost their minds! Schools are letting out two hours early. People are leaving early from work to make it home before traffic gets too bad. “You better hurry and go home,” my coworkers tell me as they hurry out the door, scarves and umbrellas trailing behind them. “You don’t want to get caught in this mess.” I smile and nod. The truth is I’ll be staying late. Not because I want to or because of my schedule, but because I don’t have anywhere else to go.

I’ve been homeless for the past nine months - alternately living in motels, a women’s shelter, and my car - and it’s time like this when not having a place to go really hits home for me. Everyone has had those days where, for whatever reason, you just don’t feel like going home – maybe your home is too crowded, too noisy, or too lonely. But how would you feel if, at the end of the day, there wasn’t even a place to call home?

The shelter I stay in is such a miserable place. I try to spend as much time away from there as I can: I come in to work an hour early, and I leave 3 hours late. During the weekends, I wander the city trying to find something to occupy my time. Usually, I end up driving in circles burning precious fuel. Anything not to have to go back too early. If I can get in just before lights-out – with just enough time to take a shower and go to bed without having to deal with the staff members yelling and talking down to us like children, or having to hear the petty gossip that goes on between the residents, or having to sit through yet another mandatory chapel service lead by well-intentioned but clueless ministers – then I could make it through another night.

But then the shops begin to close. The libraries shut down. And I’m left with the reality of my situation: I have no home. No where to go to enjoy the little things we take for granted: a warm bed; privacy; food in the refrigerator and somewhere to cook it; a place to get cleaned up when, how often, and however long you want; and the freedom to escape from the outside world.

So as the snow covers the ground and everyone rushes to their homes, I stay behind.

What else is there to do?

Link Dump: Blogger is Pissing Me Off Edition

2011-02-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

Rest in peace, Tura Luna Pascual Yamaguchi—better known as cult movie superstar Tura Satana
Any fan of cult movies will have seen Russ Meyer's over-the-top classic Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! — and if you have, you can't unremember Tura Satana's brain-bending portrayal of murderous go-go girl Varla (or the cavernous cleavage that led mammophile Meyer to cast her). But Satana's mostly overlooked real life story is as shocking and indelible as the plots of the exploitation flicks that made her famous.

Single, Saved, and Sexin’: The Gospel of Gettin’ Your Freak On
But when it comes to the sex life of the single Christian, it’s hard to take the Bible as the gospel truth, because for us, their ain’t no good news in it. Song of Solomon’s erotic imagery notwithstanding, no scriptural loopholes permitting me to get my much-needed freak on presented themselves.
But a loophole is not what I needed. I needed a bigger view of God.

Between Worlds: Jilbab and Transgender in Indonesia
Haiibalah is Muslim and transgender. The hostile reactions from other women and men towards her decision to wear the jilbab (hijab) in public was based on the belief of the irreconcilability of being waria* (transgender) and expressing religiosity in the gender of choice.

Pepsi Max Race Failure
The way that race and gender were presented in this ad specifically demeaned not only Black women, but Black families. The idea that we are harridans is meant to silence us and to stop us from speaking up about the injustice that is constantly done against us. Good women are passive women, women who accept their marginalization without question. Far too many succumb to this belief in the false idea that this is what femininity is about, thereby empowering those who seek to exploit Black women.

Well, I'm back.

2011-02-08T07:20:00.000-08:00

I honestly didn’t think I would ever get back to blogging. When I first started, it was because I was just learning about anti-racism, feminism vs. womanism, anti-classism, anti-ableism, and LGBT issues, and everything would set off RED ALERTS!11!! for me. I still believe that those things are important, but I can’t afford to get as emotionally invested as I once was. That probably sounds selfish, but a lot has changed over the last few months and I’m currently going through a very rough patch in my life right now. More than likely, I’ll end up writing a post about it, but it’s not something I want to get into right now.

I’ve been looking back at some of my posts and quite a few of them are cringe-worthy. They were written with a well-meaning, but immature point-of-view. I considered flushing the whole blog and starting over, but it’s important to learn from one’s mistakes. My beliefs haven’t changed that much (I’m still very much a Lefty McLiberal; take that anyway you like), but I hope to present more cohesive ideas and a more educated argument.

Despite all of this, I don’t plan on taking this blog too seriously. The main reason that blog is called “Don’t Read This Blog” is because it was started and will remain a collection of thoughts and ideas that happen to randomly pop into my head. I will talk about anything from politics to pop culture, from sex to religion, and everything in between. I won’t have a regular posting schedule because I still don’t have my own computer and I post when I can (usually when my boss isn’t in the room ^_~). So, read it or don’t. I’d appreciate it if you do, but I totally understand if you don’t.

To get you started, here is a short listing of my favorite posts so far:

Top Female Cartoon Geniuses
Dear Jerk
It's about freakin' time! (The Disney Princess post)

What the hell is this?

2009-10-04T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'm speechless...I just can't....What the hell??

Last week:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - A statewide Amber Alert has been issued after a newborn just four days old was abducted and his mother stabbed.
Metro police said the infant, Yair Anthony Carillo, was abducted at 2:40 p.m. Tuesday from his home on East Ridge Drive in south Nashville, south of Harding Place and just west of Interstate 24.

The newborn's mother, 30-year-old Maria Gurrolla, was stabbed as many as eight times by the abductor and is hospitalized with wounds to her neck, head, thigh and breast.

Her condition is said to be serious but not life-threatening.

The abductor is described as a heavy set white woman, approximately 30 years of age.

She is said to be five feet, four inches tall with blonde hair.

She was wearing a black shirt and blue jeans and driving a black four-door car that resembles an unmarked police patrol car.

Gurrolla told police the suspect knocked on the door claiming to be an immigration worker.

The mother allowed her entry, after which the stabbing occurred.

Fortunately, the baby was found unharmed and the abductor was arrested. But then...

Nashville, Tenn. - Just days after being kidnapped from his South Nashville home, baby Yair Carillo was reunited with his mother on Saturday.
The reunion was brief. Tennessee's Department of Children's Services told News 2 that Yair, along with his three siblings, were placed into DCS custody on Saturday.

What. The. Fuck.

A DCS Spokesperson tells News 2 they removed the children from the home because of safety concerns. Because of privacy issues he would not explain what those concerns are.

Fucking "safety concerns"? Are you kidding me?! A White woman duped a Latina into thinking she was with immigration, stabbed her 8 times, and took her newborn baby. What the fuck? The woman, believing the person to be an authority figure, opened the door, had her baby stolen, and almost lost her life. What "safety concerns"? Was it because she didn't call a babysitting to watch her kids after she was brutally attacked and ran to the neighbors for help? If a person wearing a badge enters my home and assaults me, it's MY fault now? BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!

Talk amongst yourselves. This shit is pissing me the fuck off so much that I'm getting a migraine.

Thing That Have Pissed Me Off: August '09 Edition

2009-10-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

ACORN is losing funding, but PeTA gets away with this shit?

****
Why is there any further conversation on Roman Polanski other than "lock his ass up?" He pled guilty to having sex with a minor. Before serving his sentence, the cowardly rapist punked-out and ran away. So what if he's an award-winning director? He's a rapist who made movies. So what if it's been over 34 years? He never served his sentence; justice was not carried out.

I don't care if he's shits rainbows. Lock his ass up. End of story.

BTW, did anyone else "The Today Show" this morning (October 1)? Who does Willie Brown think he is?

An E-Mail to the Hollywood Bureau of the NAACP

2009-08-30T17:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Mayhew-Hinds,

Very soon, a popular animated television show will premier in theaters as a live-action movie all across the country. The show is "Avatar: The Last Airbender" and the movie is titled "The Last Airbender". "Avatar: The Last Airbender" is about a young boy named Aang who, with the help of his friends Katara, Sokka, and Toph, uses his supernatural powers to save the world. This show has gained critical acclaim and fan praise for its storyline, the depth of its characters, and portrayal of various Asian cultures in a way that honors and respects the traditions of the Asian people.

Unfortunately, all of the actors cast as the protagonists have been white.

I do not doubt the skill and the abilities of the actors. However, the artistic talents of People of Color have always been ignored and dismissed. From "Breakfast at Tiffany's" to Angelina Jolie's portrayal of Mariane Pearl, the continued disregard and disrespect of Actors and Actresses of Color tarnishes the industry that influences many aspects of American lives, including but not limited to fashion, politics, and unfortunately, negative stereotypes of People of Color.

Every aspect of the animated series "Avatar: The Last Airbender" is steeped in Japanese, Inuit, Korean, Chinese, and Mayan history. To dishonor this connection by attempting to erase the racial significance of the characters and the world they live in is a travesty that we can not tolerate.

It is my hope that the NAACP will assist us in letting Paramount Pictures know that we refuse to let the erasure of all Peoples of Color - Black, Asian, and Latino - to continue.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you have a pleasant weekend.

Angel [last name withheld on this blog]
Nashville, TN

P.S. For more information on the "Racebending" protests, please visit Racebending.com (http://www.racebending.com) and "Fans Against the Racebending of 'The Last Avatar'" (http://community.livejournal.com/racebending).

*******
If you would like to encourage the NAACP to participate in protesting the new "The Last Avatar" movie, please contact them at:

Phone: (323) 938-5268
Fax: (323) 938-5045
Email: hollywoodbureau@naacpnet.org
Address: 4929 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 310, Los Angeles, CA 90010
Hollywood Bureau Staff Executive Director: Vic Bulluck
Manager: Cynthia Mayhew-Hinds
Special Projects Manager: Robin Harrison

LOL!!! WTF?

2009-06-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

So...Here I am procrastinating when I should be writing that paper for English when I came across a blog called "Singles Fail". The blogger finds the weirdest, creepiest, and funniest singles ads from Craigslist and, well, blogs about them. I was rotflmao when I thought, "Hey! My hometown has its share of crazies too, right?" Little did I know:

(Note: All ads came from the Nashville Craigslist "Men Seeking Women" section.)

eclectic dilettante seeks kind eyes - 55 (west nashville)

"Dilettante"? Somehow I'm picturing a grey-haired Scarlet O'Hara sewing another curtain dress in a rocking chair.

Dear You
How was your day or night depending on when you read this? Isn’t it funny how in a split second everything could change? I can give you my word on this though when we exchange vows it’ll be beyond forever. I wanted to let you know that I think about you all the time, not to the point where I am not productive, but at times I do wish you were right next to me. The thought of you always puts a smile on my face.
I’m glad that you believe in God and that you actually practice your faith. It’s good that you’re still seeking God learning more about him because I believe that there is endless knowledge about him. The fact that you’re close with your family is amazing. It’s good to know that you don’t close the door on anyone and when you pray for people you don’t exclude people. To know that you’re not all about yourself makes me seek you more.
You make me want to be a better person, there were times when I did think I found you and when my heart was crushed it was the thought that there was someone better that kept me going, that better is you. I want to be the best man for you, if you ever have any tips on becoming a better me then I won’t take it as criticism, I will just take it as honesty for I want to be perfect for you.

This is only about one-third of the post, y'all. On one hand, it sounds really sweet. But then I begin to wonder what happens when this "dream girl" turns out to be, well...a real human being. Someone with faults, chipped fingernails, and a cellulite on her butt. How would this guy react knowing that the woman of his dreams is probably in his dreams?

Nomadic homeless hot guy ??? - 35 (Smyrna)

*shakes head...

ugly guy looking for any girl - 49 (murfreesboro)

Oh, come on!

I wanna run into a girl at an old-fashioned bar who's dressed like it's 1920. Like a ghost girl or something. Any ghost girls out there?

Does Casper have a sister?

Looking for A Stepford Wife - 26 (Nashville)

Looking for a wife that is able to take care of business, cook, clean, listens when spoken to.
Knows her place, if she is able to take a beating without calling the police, that is always a plus.

That had better be some asshole's sick idea of a joke. I should reply and agree to meet him just so I can give him a black eye.

SWM seeks Female for ANR/ABF - m4w - 28 (Nashville)

Call me naive, but I had to look up ANR/ABF to see what he was talking about. Kinda wish I hadn't.

25 to30$ for your pee and panties - 31 (4924 s****** o*** dr nash tn 3****)

*stunned silence...

thats right ladies im at 4924 s****** o*** dr nash tn 3**** out side on the side of my house from 430 untill 530 am looking for some one to come by and pee in front or on me and let me have her panties ill be on the side by the green saturn in the drive way i a serious and all im looking for is what i mentioned hope to see some one soon

That boy ain't right.

Then again, in today's economy...

(Note: The address was posted in the original ad, but I decided to delete it.)

WOOHOO!!!!

2009-05-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

I'M GONNA BE AN AUNT!!!!!!!!!!!

Top Female Cartoon Geniuses

2009-05-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

'Bout damn time, huh? ^_^ Sorry for the delays, y'all. I'm in serious need of something upbeat and fun after dealing with this mess. (What the hell would I know about racism anyway? I reeeeaaaally want to grab MouseAnony by the shoulders and shake out the stupid... But then she'd probably be dead cuz that's all that's there.)

Anywho, let's get this started. My picks for the Top Female Cartoon Geniuses are:

Sandy Cheeks (Spongebob Squarepants): "I'm Texas tough!"

Sandy is one of two characters who inspired this list. (You’ll meet the second character in a later post.) I had wanted to do a list like this ever since my post on the Disney princesses, but it wasn’t until I was watching an episode of Spongebob and thinking about Sandy as a character that I decided to go ahead and start.

The first time we meet Sandy, she’s fighting for her life with a giant clam. Spongebob jumps in to help her, but in the end, Sandy is the one doing the rescuing. Aside from being no damsel-in-distress, Sandy is also an award-winning scientist and inventor. Some of her inventions include a space shuttle, a teleporter, and the invention that gained her a promotion with Treedome Industries and secured further funding for her to stay in Bikini Bottom – an automatic nutcracker/banana-peeler.

Although she has the brains and the brawn, Sandy is far from perfect. She’s proud, reckless, and extremely arrogant. (“Ain’t nothin’ too big for me to handle!”) But really, who could blame her? She’s the smartest, ass-kickingest creature in Bikini Bottom. If you’ve got it, flaunt it!

Sandy is, however, a good friend. Whenever her friends need her, she’s always got their backs. Even though she's proud of the fact that she's an S.R.I.T.S., (Squirrel Raised In The South. Get it? Get it? nudge, nudge; wink, wink) she proclaims Bikini Bottom to be her home, sweet home.

Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons): "Believe in yourself and you can achieve anything!"

What’s there to say about Lisa Simpson that hasn’t already been said? For the past 20 seasons she’s been an inspiration for both girls and boys. She’s talented, extremely intelligent, and not afraid to speak her mind. She’s a very vocal activist advocating for civil rights and the environment, and against animal cruelty. She also went against the grain and became a vegetarian and a Buddhist despite her Christian, carnivorous family.

Another endearing trait about Lisa is that, underneath it all, she’s still just a little girl: She watches cartoons, is awkward around boys. She struggles with the adolescent need to fit in, yet still maintain her individuality. Because of this, she has a more than difficult time making friends. Lisa is a character that one can identify with and look up to.

Also, who doesn’t love a little cutie-pie in pearls?

Edna Mode (The Incredibles): "I designed for gods!"

Edna was [thisclose] to being put with the Honorable Mentions. Then I watched The Incredibles for the millionth time and decided there was no way I could leave her out. For the short time she appears onscreen, that little dynamite grabs your attention and gets a stranglehold on it.

Edna deserves recognition, not only for skill with which she makes the costumes for the supers, but for the attention to detail she puts toward her craft. Edna Mode is an engineering genius! She constructed a costume for Jack-Jack that was bulletproof, fireproof up to 3,000°F, AND machine-washable! Her costume for Elastigirl is able to stretch up to 30 ft., return to its original shape, AND “breathes like Egyptian cotton”!! Anyone who has ever worn Spandex or Lycra knows that that alone is a dream come true!

Being a genius is all well and good, but what pushed Edna to the Tops list was the scene where she smacked some sense into Helen and told her to stop sniveling, get out there, and bring her man home.

Edna loves what she does and she’s damn good – beyond good! – at it. What’s not to love?

Daria Morgenorffer (Daria): "...I don't have low self-esteem. I have low esteem for everyone else."

Before that night in Paris…Before Britney’s breakdown…Back when Lindsey was still cute and Miley was barely a twinkle in Billy Ray’s checkbook…There was Daria.

During the early nineties when Music Television actually played music – and not just during their shows’ ending credits – MTV decided to experiment with adult-oriented animated programs. Its viewers were rewarded with the bounties Liquid Television, The Max, Aeon Flux, and of course, Beavis and Butthead.

Daria had a small supporting role in the aforementioned Beavis and Butthead. (Usually her scenes went along the lines of her calling Beavis and Butthead stupid, then the moronic duo made fun of her name: “Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha! Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha!” (Believe me; it was hilarious at the time.) Someone, thankfully, had a place in their heart for our lovable introvert and decided that she needed her own show.

Daria’s quick wit and stinging sarcasm was a refreshing draught compared to the blind obeisance with which many teenyboppers followed their favorite boy band or pop tart. She saw through the world’s hypocrisy, materialism, and outright idiocy. She called people on their shit and didn’t care whether they wanted to hear it or not.

Another reason to love Daria – and what gave me hope for my non-existent social life – is that she showed that nerds could find love. Yes, I know that a woman’s ability to get a man IS NOT what makes her a good woman. But in a society that surrounds us with ridiculous, fascist standards of beauty, it’s refreshing to see that the girl with the glasses and the old, thrift-store clothes gets past her own insecurities and opens herself up to a relationship. To this day, I remember the cute scene when she gets out of his car and sneaks a kiss before closing the door.

If there was ever a time when we need a “Daria”, it’s now. With so many female celebrity "role-models" (quotes intended) ending up in the gutter, it would be great for the young and impressionable to have something to turn to.

Damn, I miss her.

Dr. Paula Hutchison (Rocko's Modern Life): " 'Kay?!!"

I admit this one is coming way out of left field, but hear me out:

Remember the original Nicktoons? They were four cartoons that aired Sunday morning because no one else had ever thought beyond Saturday to broadcast their toon lineup. The original four were “Doug”, “Ren & Stimpy”, “Rugrats”, and “Rocko’s Modern Life”. Like many cartoons during the nineties, they were produced with children and older audiences in mind. Two scenes that stick out for me are “R & S’s” balad of the Canadian Kilted Yaksmen and the one where Rocko gets a job working for a “specialty” phone line. (I’m lol-ing at this moment as I think of Rocko saying nonchalantly, “Oh baby. Oh baby. Oh baby.” YES, this was on Nickelodeon!)

When we first meet “Hutch”, she’s a dentist at Filbert the Turtle’s dental school. She makes a pass at Filbert, but he lets her down easy. In later episodes, Hutch appears as a veterinarian, plastic surgeon, and a cashier. Talk about marketable talent! Also in future episodes, she and Filbert start to date and he eventually proposes to her. Unfortunately her mother, The Widow Hutchison, is NOT accepting of their relationship and does everything she can to break them up. Hutch refuses to let her ruin her happiness. The two marry and have quadruplets – Dilbert, Norbert, Gilbert, and Missy.

Interesting fact: Hutch almost wasn’t. During a press conference, a reporter asked the creator of the show Jim Murray, why there weren’t any positive female role models on the show. He answered that there isn’t and there won’t be because they were just cartoons, not people to emulate. Somebody from the studio pulled him aside and said that it might be in his best interest to make such a character. She apparently told him: “Y’know…someone with a good hook.” Murray took it literally, and created the hook-handed Jill-of-all-trades Doctor Hutchison.

‘Kay?!!

Honorable Mentions

Disclaimer: Many of my HM’s are not due to the fact that they aren’t good female characters or role models. Most of them are here because, unfortunately, their characters weren’t fleshed out enough by the writers and given a more three-dimensional personality.

Penny (Inspector Gadget)

Pros: Had the world's first notebook PC. Solved the mysteries originally given to her clueless Uncle Gadget. Cree Summer voiced her the first season.

Cons: Always let Gadget take the credit for bringing in the bad guys. always let her dog drive. (Why is a dog more capable of handling a car than a little girl?) Cree Summer didn't voice her after the first season.

Max (Batman Beyond)

Pros: She's a techno-wiz who used her hacker skills to figure out Batman's identity and become his kinda-sorta sidekick. Has awesome pink hair. She's a sistah! Holla!

Cons: That's about all there is.

Gadget (Disney's Rescue Rangers)

Pros: Can make anything out of anything, including a workable, rodent-sized airplane and a computer with parts she found in the trash. Is a bit of a scatterbrain which makes her doubly cute.

Cons: That's about it.

Dr. Lucy Carmichael (Rugrats and All Grown Up)Pros:

Pros: Harvard-educated doctor. Studied in France at Le Cordon Bleue and became a chef. Artist who can make Tiffany-style lamps unrecognizable from the authentic versions. Also manages a household with 4 kids.

Cons: That's all there is. (See what I meant in my disclaimer?)

Velma Dinkley (Scooby-Doo)

Pros: Is the brains behind Mysteries, Inc. Is cuter than Daphne. (That's right; I said it. Wanna fight about it?)

Cons: After all these years has never thought to by an eyeglass strap.

Ed; aka: Radical Edward, Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV, or Francoise Appledehli (her birth name). (Cowboy Bebop)

Pros: Computer genius and galaxy-renowned hacker extraordinaire. Prefers a tee-shirt, short-shorts, and going barefoot to something cutesy or girly. Is definitely NOT moé.

Cons: That girl ain't right.

Princess Azula (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

Pros: A strategic genius at warfare. A firebending prodigy. Extremely competitive. In the episode "The Beach" we see that, beneath her blue flames of death, is a socially awkward teen who tries (unsuccessfully) to get a boy to like her, despite her royal heritage.

Cons: Psychotic. A perfectionist. Psychotic. Has no familial loyalty except to her father. Psychotic. A pathological liar. Psychotic. Watched gleefully as her father burned her brother's face. Psychotic. Extremely jealous. Psychotic. Did I mention she's psychotic?

Well there it is, Part the First! Comments? Questions? Flames? Be my guest!

Next up: The Supers.

My bad...

2009-04-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

I know, I know... I'm a week late with that post (see below). Y'know how life is - you plan for one thing, and then another smacks you right in the face.

I'll put up the new post as soon as I can. In the meantime, check out these two amazing videos guaranteed to put a smile on your face:

Playing For Change | Song Around The World "Stand By Me" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Top Female Cartoon Characters: An Introduction

2009-04-06T17:15:00.000-07:00

Recently, Renee of Womanist Musings did a series of posts in which she interviewed various womanists and feminists and asked about their “click moment” – the moment in their lives when they decided to pursue womanism or feminism as a cause. Personally, I don’t remember when my click moment was, but I remember what caused it: the treatment of women by the mainstream media (MSM).

Let me make a few things clear: I hate “chick lit”, “chick flicks”, and anything else the corporate MSM believes that women want and/or need. I do, however, love new gadgets, taking things apart and putting them back together, science fiction, action movies, useless trivia, documentaries, and cartoons. I’m not the type of woman to get mushy over “Bridget Jones’ Diary”; I’m the type of woman who gets hot watching giant transforming robots. (Seriously, I almost creamed myself watching the “Transformers” movie. Yay, sequel!) Therefore, I decided to take two of my aforementioned favorite things – cartoons and useless trivia – and combine them to make a series of five posts: Top Female Cartoon Characters.

Did you know that if you googled “top female cartoon characters”, each result contains the words “hottest”, “sexiest”, or “would like to bang”? This will NOT be one of those lists. The characters chosen for this series are strong, intelligent, and buck the stereotypical female roles. When these characters show up on screen, you WANT your kids sitting in front of the T.V.

I’m still doing my research, so I’d love to hear any suggestions. Who would you like to see in this series and why? Who SHOULDN’T be included? Let me know. The first post goes up this weekend.

First up: Top Female Cartoon Geniuses.

READ THIS POST!

2009-02-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

Er, not THIS post, but this post:

Why sex work is not like other work

Whether sex workers work for others in dungeons or brothels or strip clubs and are “independent contractors,” or work for ourselves and are “self-employed,” we are required by law to pay taxes like everyfuckingbody else. It is ignorant and incorrect to say things like “yeah, make it legal so we can tax it, more revenue for the blahblahblah” - “it” is already being taxed. The fact of any given sex worker NOT paying taxes is no different than the god-knows-how-many others, in other professions, who cheat on their taxes. We all are obligated by law. Some people break the law. Not the same as not having to follow it in the first place.

Also - spare me your tears about how it must be so much easier to hide cash income when you’re a sex worker than when you’re a cheatin’-minded production assistant or somebody. When cops and your employers can rape and jail you just for doing your job - forget about your taxes for a minute - then you can come on in and cry me a river. Now? No.

Fuck you, PETA

2009-02-11T06:09:00.000-08:00

FUCK. YOU.

A Plea

2009-02-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

I hadn't planned on posting anything tonight, but something I read today compelled me to reach out to anybody and everybody out to there to PLEASE SPEAK UP.

Every month at Womanist Musings, Renee writes a special post when she begins her period. (This month's post, however, is from guest Ruth.) Since women are generally taught to see their periods as something disgusting and repellent, it's very refreshing to be able share my experiences with the other women who visit the site. Then I read a comment left by Froth:

When you're folded into a little ball on the floor of a halls bathroom, unable to stand or walk (and therefore reach pain relief) because you faint when you try, afraid to leave the bathroom because you're bleeding like crazy and you didn't know you would so you don't have a pad and the hormones have given you diarrhea, sweating through your last clean pair of pyjamas with the pain, there is exactly nothing good about having a womb.

Ladies - and gentlemen - PLEASE get yourselves checked out. If something doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. Do not ignore your symptoms.

Alright, story time...I wish I could say that this one has a happy ending.

My mother suffered from severe menstrual cramps for most of her life. She would go to one gynecologist who would tell her, "Some women just have worse cramps during your period. Here, I'll prescribe you some ibuprofen." Being an Air Force family, we moved often. So, she would go to her new gyn complaining of her severe cramps. That one would say, "You need to stop smoking. In the meantime, I'll prescribe some ibuprofen." Another move, another gyn. This time: "You need to lose some weight. In the meantime, I prescribe some ibuprofen." It was the same thing every time: lose weight, stop smoking, quit whining, here's some pills. Since my mom wasn't getting any real help, she would swallow dose after dose to get rid of the pain. Yet, there were still those days when her menstrual cramps were so bad, she stayed in the bed the whole day.

Well, my mom was approaching 50 and she decided to make some changes for the better. She started walking to and from work, and she quit smoking cold turkey. She dropped 3 dress sizes and was in excellent shape.

So we thought.

Despite the positive changes to her lifestyle and wellness, she was still having severe, incapacitating menstrual cramps. She went a gynecologist and told her that she was tired of getting the run-around. Something was wrong, and she wasn't leaving until someone did something about it!

She was admitted to the hospital for a laparoscopy. They discovered that she had such a severe case of endometriosis, that the only thing to do was to perform a full hysterectomy.

My mother was elated! At almost 50, she wasn't planning on having anymore kids anyway. She was so ecstatic about finally being able to live without that pain.

The operation was performed. It was a complete success. For a few sweet months, everything was fine.

Then my mom got sick.

The doctors told her it was just a virus. They gave her antibiotics. She began to feel somewhat better, but then the symptoms kept returning. On top of that, she became weaker and weaker, to where she started to walk with a cane.

One day, she collapsed at home. She was admitted to the emergency room, and they performed test after test after test after test...

The result: Liver cancer.

All of those years of suffering through endometriosis and not knowing about it. All of those years of not being listened to. All of those years of having to self-medicate because the "professionals" wouldn't hear her...

She was diagnosed in February of 2005. She passed away in June of that same year.

Mama was 49 years-old.

Listen, if something feels wrong, then something IS wrong. I don't care how many certificates and diplomas are on somebody's wall; nobody knows your body better than you. Shout. Stomp your feet. Throw a tantrum. Cry like a baby. If you believe that something is not right with your body, listen to your instincts. Get yourself checked out. AND MAKE THEM HEAR YOU.

Mauricia Grant Redux

2009-01-31T15:40:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been getting a lot comments in my moderation queue on the post I wrote a while back on Mauricia Grant.

The first reason for this is that my post is in the number one spot when you search "Mauricia Grant" on Google. (...yay.) The second reason is that NASCAR and Ms. Grant recently settled the lawsuit out-of-court.

I'm gonna take a step back for a moment.

I've held several jobs in the service industry: fast food worker, Wal-Mart cashier (shudder), hotel desk clerk. And now I work in juvenile justice. Let me tell you: When you think you've seen it all, something new is added. That is especially true when you have a blog and are cleaning out the moderation queue.

Anonymous #1:

lol white people are so fuckin funny like yall dont get shit yall are tha greediest people in the world im black and i graduated from highschool and got a year of college finished with no criminal record and still cant get a job at Burger king lol and yall talk about black people get everything yall are also some of the dumest people in the world fa real drive through the suburbs and see how many...

Y'all, it goes on like that for over 50 more lines! Sista/brotha I hear what you're saying but brevity is bliss! And please punctuate!

Anonymous #2:

Angel H, you are obviously an angered minority and your views look like you are looking for a lawsuit yourself.

The hell?

I totaly agree with the amount of the suit is redicilious. She wouldn't have made a million dollars with her job but its worth a quarter of a billion! Come on, lets be real. Give me $250,000 and you can call me what ever you want and I will look at penises everyday for the rest of my life.

That's just wrong...

This lawsuit is bullshit. Every stupid lawsuit like this makes us pay more for services. I was physically attacked by 5 black guys while I was at school. Black eye and everything. The names that I were called were unsettling. Guess I should have sued the school for $500 million. I mean I atleast had physical damage as well as mental! No way, I just don't put myself in situations like that again. I wouldn't sue becuase the people that attacked me were at fault not the school. Just like the people who called her names were at fault not NASCAR. Thats right, only Nascar has enough money for her greed! If you are afraid of getting burned then don't play with fire.

Shorter version: She should've known she was going to get sexually and racially harassed. It's her own fault for wanting to advance her career!

What-the-fuck-ever!

Angel H. really needs to grow up and let the descrimintaion stop and quit trying to get something for nothing. You are a lawsuit waiting to happen and everyone who knows you should be scared, be very scared!

I don't know whether to laugh or just feel sorry for this person.

Lord, bless his/her heart.

This next one is from Joel who.....just read it. It's pathetic:

well im a half black/white male and i can tell you i dont believe a word she says she is a woman whom would like to get something for nothing. she doesnt deserve no 225 million or whatever for ficticious claims towards nascar n im not even a fan of nascar. as for this angel h. she seems to lend suttle hints of her homosexuality.

lol. wut?

she is no doubt a feminist so why she even blogged about this issue is pointless its just her way of showing how feminists always come together to help one of there own.

This is where I was going to print some snappy comeback, but I'm just having too much fun laughing at this dude!

Yay!

2008-12-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

I just finished my very first AMV! Let me know what you think:

The Incomparable Eartha Kitt

2008-12-26T10:37:00.001-08:00

1927 - 2008

R. I. P.

I must be a masochist...

2008-12-19T17:58:00.000-08:00

After I tell myself that's it's just going to piss me off and make me upset, I still find myself going back to Feministing.

Lisa Valentine's arrest on Tuesday is yet another example of the discrimination that Muslim women who wear hijab (headscarves) face on a daily basis. Valentine was told that she could not enter the courthouse in Douglasville, Georgia, unless she removed her hijab, and was jailed for contempt of court when she refused to do so.

Cheers to Selene Kay of the ACLU Women's Right Project to bringing this issue to light! Jeers to the "feminists" who have a problem with women practicing their religion as they see fit.

And really, the politically correct backlash here that refuses to decry the hijab for the misogynistic tool that it is, is disappointing. I've heard endless complaints - which I love - about Christian patriarchy, but this facial covering from a culture that basically says women need to keep themselves completely hidden or they're just asking to be raped: that's fine? Please.

I won't tell Muslim women to remove their coverings but I won't support their 'choice' to submit anymore than I support the 'choice' of Christian wives to submit to their husbands. Misogyny is misogyny and I don't have pretend it's not there just because some refuse to acknowledge it.

I would expect anyone entering a courtroom, or any similar place of high security, to remove anything obstructing their face and or head. Whether it's a hipster in a porkpie hat, a woman in a bandan, a hasidic jew in a hat, or a muslim woman in a hijab, we *all* have to submit to these procedures. It's tiresome hearing people of faith saying how their faith is violated when it's something we all have to do.

Here's Ruchama dropping some much-needed knowledge...

Some Muslim women wear hijab. Others don't. And they wear it for different reasons. It's ridiculous to say that every woman who wears it wears it for the reasons you gave. Among the people I've talked to who wear it, some have said they wear it because they feel their religion requires it. Others started wearing it after 9/11, when they felt that all Muslims were being vilified and they wanted a sort of "We're here, we're Muslim, get used to it." Others have said that it's a cultural thing -- this is just the way that people in their community dress. I've heard one woman say that she wears it as a protest against the way that women's bodies are sexualized -- she says her message is "look at my face, or don't look at me at all."

Have you ever actually talked to a woman who wears hijab? Asked her why, and actually listened to her answer?

...And doubleb blinds us with her whiteness:

Her answer is largely irrelevant to my point about this case. Any reason is a not good enough reason.

But Danyell brings the win!

Wait, any reason for her following a specific aspect of her faith is "not good enough for you"?

I'm sorry, but, who are you? Why does her reasoning have to satisfy you at all? I thought that we feminists were really into the whole "choice" thing. As you can see, the problem with encouraging "choice" means we won't like all of them. We can even think that the choice itself is anti-feminist. Fine. The good news is that she doesn't have to defend everything she does to the feminist world as a whole. Some choices are political and some personal and they don't always conform to each other.

Unfortunately, the knowledge is few and far between. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do something less far less painful than reading the comments on Feministing...

Self-flagellation.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

2008-12-15T10:54:00.000-08:00

Shelter Manager Accused of Beating Woman Had Prior Assault Conviction

MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - The former night manager of a Murfreesboro homeless shelter accused of assaulting a woman with a bat remains in a Rutherford County Jail.

This story pisses me off for soooo many reasons.

Number One:

The 54-year-old man was arrested last week for allegedly assaulting Amanda Warner, who is homeless...

To assault someone is bad enough. But to assault a person who is in an especially vulnerable possession is despicable.

Number Two:

...after she refused his sexual advances.

How many times do we ladies have to tell people: NO MEANS NO!!!!!!!!

Y'know, not too long ago Joan Kelly and I were talking about the ridiculous things women go through just to not be assaulted - pretending to buy medication for a yeast infection; doing 360 degree twirls to make sure no one is sneaking up on you; scratching your cootchie every few steps you take while yelling, "DAMN, THIS THING IS BURNING ME!" - that it makes me so made that a woman's body and her personal space are not considered her own. Some men get so damn angry when we don't dare smile, say hello, acknowledge their existence, or immediately jump into their car with them. Then WE'RE the ones called "bitch", "ho", and/or "stuck-up".

Get this and get it straight, fellas: I AM IN NO OBLIGATION TO YOU, YOUR EXISTENCE, YOUR WANTS, OR YOUR NEEDS.

Number Three:

The pair was at a party Saturday night at Murfreesboro's Room in the Inn, a day shelter that provides beds and assists residents in finding employment as well as helps people in their rehabilitation.

A shelter, people!!! This attack took place IN A SHELTER!!!

Number Four:

According to court records, Sprague was arrested for sexually assaulting a homeless woman at the day shelter two years ago. He pleaded guilty to two counts of aggravated assault and served more than 200 days of a three-year sentence.

......

...One more time:

According to court records, Sprague was arrested for sexually assaulting a homeless woman at the day shelter two years ago. He pleaded guilty to two counts of aggravated assault and served more than 200 days of a three-year sentence.

WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE??!?!?!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!!?

This pitiful excuse for a human being was arrested for raping a woman at the same shelter, and he got his job back?!!?

I'm sorry, but the stupid has ruptured my brain...byby

**UPDATE** (12/21/08)
Damn, y'all...just...damn...

In 2006, Sprague was arrested and charged with one count of rape and one count of sexual battery. Those charges were filed by Murfreesboro Police after a 10-year old boy called 9-1-1. The child said that Sprague entered the room where he and his mother were sleeping and attempted to get into bed with his mother. The child went on to report that Sprague had his pants pulled down when he entered the room a second time.

Why did you vote for Obama?

2008-11-11T08:39:00.001-08:00

To participate in my little curiosity poll, click here.

If you just want to see the results, click here.

Tweet, Tweet!

2008-11-09T20:21:00.000-08:00

Goes who's on Twitter?

C'mon guess!

sigh...again

2008-10-27T14:21:00.000-07:00

Feds Disrupt Skinhead Plot to Assinate Obama

WASHINGTON – Federal agents have broken up a plot by two neo-Nazi skinheads to assassinate Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and shoot or decapitate 102 black people, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco Firearms and Explosives said Monday.

In court records unsealed Monday in U.S. District Court in Jackson, Tenn., federal agents said they disrupted plans to rob a gun store and target a predominantly African-American high school in a murder spree that was to begin in Tennessee. Agents said the skinheads did not identify the school by name.

And, by now I'm sure you've heard of Ashley Todd.

I wish I could say I'm surprised.

Help Wanted!

2008-10-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a series of posts dealing with definitions and real-world realities. I'm relatively new to the Progressive movement, and there's a lot of things I'm still learning. Something I have learned is that dictionary definitions often don't work in the real world. This series will analyze that, while offering my own thoughts on the different subjects. The series will concentrate on 4 areas: Race, Sex, Religion, Politics. I would love to get different points of view, especially in the areas in which I'm still very much a n00b. ;)

If you would like to help me out, please e-mail me at malaika924 at yahoo dotcom.

Random Ramblings

2008-10-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

Well, my electricity was cut off Wednesday. It's not so bad, but I have to get used to the cold showers...and not being able to cook (I'd just bought ten packs of ramen noodles and now i can't boil water!)...and not being able to charge my iPod and cell phone at home (I charge them in the car and at work)...It does, however, give me time to do some things around the apartment that I've been meaning to do for ages. But I need to get used to scrambling to get things done before sundown.

...

I want to work on a "Definitions" series of posts. I've been thinking a lot about race, sex, gender, and other stuff, and I've come to realization that there is a LOT that I don't know. So, I plan on breaking things down bit by bit.

...

I really, REALLY want to get back into painting and illustrating and even trying some more collage. But there is always other stuff on my mind, and other stuff takes up my time...And of course, all of that costs money which I don't have.

When I was taking an art class in college last year, I was so jealous that there were others in my class that had their own studio spaces, who frequented galleries, who already knew the right people in the industry and could easily get a commission. Those were also the same people who were able to work on their craft at any time. They were supported financially through their spouses or parents, and were able to pursue it full-time. I, on the other hand, work a menial job full-time and often find myself having to pawn and sell my things just to pay my bills. I can't go to the galleries and schmooze because I don't even have the money for transportation, let alone the money to produce anything to show.

...

I've been having weird dreams about fruit.

In the first dream, there's a white house with a couple of fruit trees in the front yard. There are bunch of teenage boys on the front porch - I think the house is a group home or something. My mother is there raking leaves under the tress - she looks really tired - and me and few friends are picking the fruit from the trees. The fruit looks like Ugli fruit but it has an edible rind, and the taste and texture reminds me of a persimmon. While I'm picking fruit, another group of boys cames up to the first group trying to pick a fight. I break it up, send the other group on their way, and chastise the boys for letting them get under their skin. One of them walks up to me and apologizes and I offer him some fruit.

In the other dream, I'm with a group of people who were picked as part of a focus group top try out the attractions at a new resort. Doesn't that sound like an awesome job?! ^_^ Unfortunately, the owner of the resort who served as our guide was an asshole. He looked similar to a certain actor: tall, rugged features, big eyebrows, British (does a lot of period pieces), gay man. Can't remember his name. Anyway, during our tour, we had lunch and it was baked fish with fruit the size of strawberries but they were orange-yellow. They had the same texture and flavor as the other fuirt in my last dream.

I always have strange dreams.

sigh...

2008-10-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

From some racist tool on a Republican website:

From Chaffey Community Republican, Federated:

In public view outside of West Plains, MS:

Racialicious: On Open Letter to White Voters, Or What McCain Really Thinks of You

Do you bear any resemblance to these agitators? Probably not.
Do you fit the profile of the racist and xenophobic white voter? Probably not.
Then do you really want to support a candidate who thinks so little of you that his only strategy right now is to appeal to your basest human instincts of fear and
hatred?

I don't think that all Republicans are racist. I won't even go so far as to say that McCain or Palin are racist, even though their actions sometime say differently. But what pisses me off about the whole situation is that neither McCain nor Palin has publicly come forward to say, "These people don't speak for me. They don't represent my values and points of view. These people are racist and I don't want my name to be associated with them."

Help Wanted!

2008-10-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

If anybody knows of a good place to buy blank t-shirts in bulk in a wide variety of women's sizes, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

Unbleached Cotton/Poly?

2008-09-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

There's a Project Runway joke in there somewhere. I just know it!

H/T Renee.

PMS Letter: To the Mayor of Nashville, TN

2008-09-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

In her book, Kiss My Tiara, Susan Jane Gilman writes that women should use all of the anger, frustration, and bitchiness that comes with PMS and write to our politicians, people in Congress, representatives, and the president! In the first of a monthly series, here is my letter to the mayor:

Dear Sir:

I’d like to start off by saying that I didn’t vote for you. I don’t remember why exactly (maybe I was sick that day?), but I’m glad the other guy didn’t win.

I’d like to continue by saying that despite what the financial analysts are saying on television, our pockets are empty and we working class citizens are seriously hurting! Yes, Virginia, there is a recession.

After a few years of fighting in the Middle East, everyone thought that ethanol would save us from our dependence on foreign oil. (OMG! Gas from corn! Whodathunkit?) But as more farmers choose to sell larger chunks of their crops to be made into ethanol, food prices began to rise along with gasoline prices. We, the people, were totally screwed.

So, what about “going green” and using mass transit? Problem: MTA cuts back its
routes, and the Music City Star goes only two ways – east and west. If you live
in any of the other directions on the compass, sucks to be you.

First of all, thousands of people depend on MTA as their only means of transportation. To cut back on service when, now more than ever, people can’t afford to have a car, is not only ridiculous but extremely elitist. Secondly, the middle Tennessee area is full of train tracks. It simply makes no sense that none of these tracks are being used for commuter trains.

We all know that these changes cost money. However, in the long run I believe it would more than pay for itself: Middle- and upper-middle class citizens would be happy to use public transportation in order for the chance to decrease their carbon footprint. And the working class, who may not have any choice but to use public transportation would greatly appreciate the more options an expended system could offer.
With the rising costs of food and fuel, many people are going without the necessities. (Personally, I’ve had to decide on whether I should buy medicine or fuel up my tank to go to work.) Things are getting painful for the working-class, and I would like to be assured of your understanding and commitment to a solution on this matter.
Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.

Sincerely, &c.

If you're going to write a PMS letter, it's probably best to send it right away before your hormone levels go down and you start to regret what you wrote...

Maybe. I'll post the response when/if I receive one.

Random Ramblings: Chillin' w/ Granny Edition

2008-09-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

~ Don't get me wrong, y'all: I love my Granny and would do anything for her...But I just had to light some scented candles cuz she's got this place LIT UP! What has she been eating?!

~ I've been pleasantly surpised by my experience over at Cassy Fiano's blog. We were actually having a discussion and not a shouting match. Even though I don't agree with her and she doesn't agree with me, I still feel like I was welcome, and that's saying ALOT! But let's not kid ourselves: Nobody's going on anybody's blogroll anytime soon! ;-)

Wait for it....waaaiiit for it.....

2008-09-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

"Palin: Iraq war 'a task that is from God'"

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told ministry students at her former church that the United States sent troops to fight in the Iraq war on a "task that is from God."
In an address last June, the Republican vice presidential candidate also urged ministry students to pray for a plan to build a $30 billion natural gas pipeline in the state, calling it "God's will."

I'll give it a week. If nothing nothing happens by then...well.

Advice Needed, PLEASE!!!

2008-09-03T16:25:00.000-07:00

There's this guy I see around town that's approached me 3 times in the last month or so. I don't want anything to do with him.

The first time he approached me was at the car wash. When I walked by him to get something from the vending machine, he asked me if I was Jamaican. (Maybe because of my dreds?) I said, "No, why?" Then he asked me if I was married. I said, "No, and I'm not looking. Thanks." He asked me for my name, but I just waved and walked away.

The next time I saw him was when I had to leave work early last week because my migraine was killing me. On the way to my apartment, I stopped to pick up the mail. As I was driving off, a guy in an SUV pulled up beside me and honked his horn. I rolled down my window a little bit, and he motioned for me to "come here". Like hell. Then he asked me for my name. I said, "Look. I'm really in a lot of pain right now, so unless this is important, I've got to get going." He said, "Okay. give me your phone number and I'll call you later." Without saying anything more, I just drove off. And when I was sure he wasn't following me, I went home.

The last time I saw him was last night. I was leaving a store. And he was walking up to me, trying to get my attention. I ignored him, and got into my car. Then the dude starts KNOCKING ON MY PASSENGER WINDOW! I start the car and he didn't start walking away until I pulled away from the parking space. After I made sure I wasn't being followed, I went home.

I have read way too many news reports about women who just wanted to be left alone, but ended up dead or injured because they dared to say no to some jerk on the street. I'm scared that if I see this guy again (hopefully, three times the charm and I won't ever have to deal with him anymore), he's going to get violent if I just come right out with it. I want to tell him, "I've turned you down three times already. Please respect that. I just don't want anything to do with you." But what if he's carrying any weapons or decides to follow me home?

I do have some pepper spray, but there's a little problem: As you may already know, I work at a facility for juvenile offenders. Any person or vehicle on State property may be subject to a search. I can't keep the pepper spray on me (wouldn't want our little "angels" to get ahold of it) and I can't keep it in the car. If there's a search (and they do have random searchs) I could written up, or worse, fired.

If you have any advice, please, PLEASE help me out!

Random Ramblings - Menstrual Edition

2008-08-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of my period. My meds don't work as efficiently as they should because I'm getting fussy and impatient with everyone...but shit! It's not that fucking hard to put a number in the box and circle 'y' or 'n'!!! And why make such a big federal case about a kid getting his credits when you, me, the floorboards, and the wall know that he isn't leaving until 2010!! <--- work-related rant.

Also, I really, REALLY wish my supervisor/officemate would realize that when she goes to lunch, it's not just a break for her, it's a break for me FROM her.

And go to the damn bathroom when you say you're going to the damn bathroom and not get distracted by various little pieces of paper that isn't that important or urgent anyway!! One of these days I'm going to find a puddle of piss under your feet, and I am not cleaning it up!!!

And while I'm at it---why the hell make things more difficult than they already are?!! You wanna distribute the transport requests between us? Fine. Just don't use 10 fucking minutes to do so! I get 1. You get 1. I get 2. You get 2. THERE! it's finished! shit... <---again, work-related rant.

I may post more. For your sakes, dear reader, I hope I don't. ^_~

Diversity Necklace

2008-08-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading yesterday's newspaper when, for the first time ever, I decided to read an advice column by Carolyn Hax.

From a reader (emphasis mine):

My 14-year-old son has befriended a boy who constantly texts his other friends while out with him. They met at boarding school and plan on being roommates next year. He lives 10 minutes away, so I have been encouraging the friendship because we recently moved here, and my son doesn't have many friends the area. My son has been popular and never had any problems making friends in our old community.

We took this boy on vacation with us, and although it began well, by the last four days it was like having a boy in a phone booth vacationing with us...I believe this boy does it on purpose to make my son feel isolated, and even if that's not his motive I feel it is extremely rude...

I was so happy to have this family in our lives for a few reasons, the obvious one being a nice friend for my son, but also because I have close friends of all races and love the diversity. However, I never had the opportunity to befriend anyone who is black. This family is, and we have a lot in common, but this issue is getting in the way. ~ R.

The reply:

Dear R.:

To recap: You pushed a friendship on a son who has no trouble finding his own friends, because you wanted an emotional insurance policy (for him or for you, it's unclear), and because your diversity necklace needed a black pearl.

*lol! "Diversity necklace"! I'm gonna have to use that one! ;)

Here's what I suggest you do: nothing. Given that your actions in this episode included meddling, undermining your son's social confidence and judging people by the color of their skin as opposed to the content of their character, I would say you've done enough.

...You can't meddle back a relationship that wasn't healthy to begin with.

Oh, I like her!

If this doesn't get you excited about the election...

2008-07-28T18:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know what will...

Worst. Cover. Ever.

2008-07-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

Well...the second worst...

I happened to see this Seventeen magazine while browsing through Walgreens. (3 weeks after I saw it on GoFugYourself and had forgotten about it) When I saw this in the store, it made me laugh because I never knew that "Fake Tan" was a mask on Photoshop! Also, when I saw this online, I remember thinking that there was something else about the cover that I just rubbed me the wrong way (aside from it being a pretty typical teen fashion mag). I couldn't remember what it was, and I thought maybe I had been thinking of something else.

Then I decided to actually pick up the magazine...

Do you see that tiny little blurb on the corner? No? Neither did I at first; the magazine rack obscured it from view. Here's a close-up:

You, too, can learn 838 WAYS TO LOOK PRETTY with PERFECT HAIR and show off your BEST BUTT in the RIGHT JEANS!!!

But you may have an eating disorder, so...you might wanna check on that.

I Believe Her

2008-07-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

from Donna Darko:

NETROOTS, A LISTERS, PROGRESSIVES, DEMOCRATS, FEMINIST BLOG NETWORK, WOMEN OF COLOR BLOGGERS, CLINTON BLOGGERS, TALLAHASSEE PROGRESSIVE COMMUNITY, ASIAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY, PROGRESSIVE FORUMS, FEMINIST FORUMS, ASIAN FORUMS, ALL MY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES PLEASE POST THIS EVERYWHERE. I AM COMPLETELY INNOCENT, a leftist, a progressive, and an extremely good, outstanding person. PLEASE HELP ME AND DEFEND ME. I AM COMPLETELY INNOCENT.

I found this on Open Left:

See Abusing Direct Democracy: Bad Actors in the Signature Gathering Business
November 2007
by the Ballot Initiative Strategy Center
www.ballot.org
About Arno’s massive history of fraud yet they never get in trouble. There are 40 cases in this packet. Why don’t THEY ever get in trouble? If every campaign is investigated, his industry is the problem. Their industry is corrupt with greed but they never reform it. They should pay per hour like ACORN instead of per petition but they’re too greedy to change. They should get in trouble instead of getting the little guys in trouble every time.

——————————————————————————————–

“When we read about some crime in the paper or see it in the “crawl” on CNN, we don’t know the whole story. Everyone LOOKS guilty! It is just the nature of the media coverage. There is inherent bias in the media coverage of alleged crimes. When is the last time you looked at the newspaper and said ‘Wow - this guy must be innocent?’ The Ligon case seemed undefendable to most people, including me. I had prejudged Ligon as someone who didn’t deserve a good defense. Don’t wrote someone off because of your take on a crappy headline and biased news story. We have to take several steps back.”

–from Mickey Sherman, How Can You Defend Those People?

It was a media creation based on a personal agenda.

There are two reasons this campaign got attention. Ion Sancho, Head of Elections in Tallahassee, FL oversaw the Florida Recount in 2000. It took place at the Leon County Courthouse in Tallahassee under his watch. The whole episode was embarrassing for Tallahassee and him. A progressive colleague, Steve Payne, who is now an organizer with SEIU International in Minneapolis, worked close with him and said this whole investigation was to cover his ass after what happened in 2000. Sancho said he would investigate the hell out of any irregularity to cover his ass. This is why the whole thing was unfair to me from the beginning. Imagine my shock when it made the Tallahassee Democrat, someone as straight arrow and transparent as me who never did anything wrong in her life. In fact, I talked about all this to two of the three biggest progressive student leaders in Tallahassee, Alex Joyce and Steve Payne. They graduated and moved to Portland and Minneapolis in 2004. The third, Gabe Pendas, a very well known student activist, was younger and graduated later and never heard my side of the story. Maybe he is in on this because he only knows what the newspaper said and what students learned from the media. It was Ion Sancho’s personal agenda and a media creation that had nothing to do with me so it’s grossly unfair. What’s really strange is Sancho’s 16-year-old goddaughter, Dylan, worked for us and would totally vouch for my integrity. Doesn’t he know I was the well-known progressive in town? That’s what I never understood unless he didn’t know who I was.

Two, it got attention because we did 3000 registrations which is not that many for a four week campaign. The RNC pushed us to do 30,000. The man from the RNC, Clint Fuermann, kept calling and saying the guy down in Tampa did 1000 a day and that we were supposed to work 6 days a week and that we could only take Sundays off. 4.5 weeks, that’s 30,000. 3,000 is only 45 per week for 15 people. JSM also kept calling and saying we were doing way too few. JSM and the RNC, the middlemen should get in trouble for pushing the workers too hard and paying per petition. We only took orders from above and worked hard. I had NO IDEA WHATSOEVER anyone did anything wrong. There were some days they were alarmed because we got zero. I only did a couple hundred, painstakingly in 95 degree heat, and never used the petition. ARNO and middle men like JSM and the RNC should get in trouble not people who only take orders and listen to them.

There are seven groups of people who victimized me. The third is Arno which does thousands of campaigns and every other one is investigated. This means his industry is corrupt and that he has to reform it. The most important reform would be to pay per hour like the leftist grassroots groups such as ACORN which requires a reasonable quota of 45 petitions a day. Arno’s industry has tons of fraud because it pays per petition. He never gets in trouble. Only the little guys get in trouble. His industry is corrupt and fraudulent so he should get in trouble or reform it instead of getting the little guys in trouble. He’s a crook. I’m not a crook IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. I’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE! WHAT A JOKE! Meanwhile, Arno, JSM and Mark Jacoby are career criminals. This was 24 days of my life (I was out of town for the last 7 days).

JSM came up with the scam and petition. They gave us a script about a medical marijuana petition as a lead in to register voters. It’s quite simple and not illegal. It goes like this. “Would you like to sign a petition to legalize marijuana to help sick people? Finally, do you mind registering as a Republican? They’re paying for this campaign. Libertarian Republicans support the legalization of marijuana.” I had NO IDEA if anything went wrong and truly believed everyone was asked. I asked EVERYONE who gave me paperwork three times if they did it right while looking at them right in the eye. I drive people crazy with my straight-arrow ways and transparency. JSM pushed us to do many more than 3000 in 4 weeks. Maybe people are good at lying to me but I really don’t think anyone did anything wrong. Everything seemed perfectly fine. It’s a scam but nothing illegal. There’s no proof of anything illegal. Supposedly, having voters’ initials next to the R box is extra prove it’s legal. There’s no proof registrations without initials next to the R box weren’t asked. That’s like saying 99% of the people in a town killed someone because there’s no proof they didn’t. Steve also said 15 voters were called and asked if they were asked if they were Republicans and that he made this blanket statement about the rest. That’s really unfair. He said the answer also depends on the way the question is asked. They may have simply been asked if they were Republicans. If 15 voters said no, they weren’t asked or they weren’t Republicans it’s wouldn’t be fair to say the same for the rest. That season there were about 10 different petitions going around and he said someone might remember a petition about medical marijuana but have a hard time remembering the last thing they were asked which is whether or not they would mind registering as a Republican.

Mark Jacoby has been in the business for many years and literally teaches all his workers how to cheat or bait and switch. Ours was a very straight forward operation as I described and we never bait and switched. Everything was out in the open. I learned on the internet Jacoby uses bait and switch meaning people did not even know they were registering to vote. He and his entire crew spent one of the four weeks in Tallahassee and turned in registrations. Mark always seemed to always want to screw us over because he was competitive with Clark so I don’t know if he screwed over registrations he turned into the Leon county office. He did 900 in Gainesville. Again this is a guy who literally teaches his workers how to cheat and trick people. He should get in trouble cheating year after year, campaign after campaign. If 4000 registrations from us and Mark are being investigated, isn’t it Arno’s responsibility? And JSM’s? Shouldn’t it go to the top if every other campaign is investigated? It’s a corrupt business with corrupt players. Of course, I had no idea going into it that it was run by Republican backers. I knew NOTHING. ACORN’s minimum wage campaign ended and we met people in the field doing petitions. I had no idea if these petitions were liberal or conservative. It seems half were liberal, half were conservative.

So far we have Ion Sancho, Arno, the RNC, JSM and Mark Jacoby. Six, Clark took advantage of me. We met at ACORN. I recently posted about how I have a 1.5 paged, single spaced list of leftist activities from 2003-2005. I’ve been a radical leftist since I was 24 and have done hardcore leftist activism pretty much every day for the last 16 years. This is cosmic injustice considering how much I influenced the progressive narrative over the years through daily, leftist activism. I worked at ACORN for six months, from Feb-July 2004. We won the minimum wage campaign, the organizer of the entire campaign, Brian Kettering, thanked me personally for my work on the campaign. There are two kinds of people who work at ACORN. Activists and people who can’t get a job elsewhere. I worked with other ACORN workers in the private petition industry for only two months, July-Sept 2004, which we learned about through people in the field who said you can do petition work on a private basis. Half the petitions were liberal, half conservative. It was hard to tell. I didn’t know who funded campaigns or JSM until later. Do you judge a life on 24 days of that campaign or even 2 months compared to 16 years of daily, leftist activism? The progressive blogosphere is familiar with my daily, hardcore leftist activism on the web. This is how I’ve worked for 16 years since I became a liberal even before blogs. I used to write editors of progressive magazines to praise them, tell them off or make suggestions just like I do on blogs. He’s the only Republican I ever dated and NEVER would have done this Republican campaign at all or participated in anything resembling a scam. I’ve never participated in any kind of scam in my entire life and certainly have never been in ANY kind of trouble. I am also not the type of person who’s ambitious enough to do these big campaigns or be a coordinator. I hate Republicans in general. I hate scams. He never really paid me but took me to Disney World and bought me some simple jewelry. I was his secretary for this and he went out of town to work and did not realize until recently my name might be on this campaign. This is the ultimate cosmic injustice. I’m someone’s secretary for three months, never a coordinator, he goes out of town during a one month campaign, and I’m stuck with this? To this day, I don’t know if I was a coordinator. Ironically, JSM hired him as a coordinator because they said his girlfriend had integrity and they needed people like me in the business.

Seven, I can’t tell if workers lied to me. I am a very straight-forward person. I look people in the eye and ask them questions but still don’t know if people looked me in the eye and lied to me. I am naïve because I grew up sheltered. As far as I know, nothing was wrong with this campaign. Everything seemed fine. Imagine the shock when I read in the Tallahassee Democrat Ion Sancho said there were irregularities. Ironically, I was in the Tallahassee Democrat twice for good deeds that season. My picture was in the paper for being the leading voter registration person in Tallahassee and for raising Florida’s minimum wage. Many people came up to me and said they wanted to be like me. To give you some context on how progressive I am, I registered voters for eight progressive organizations OUTSIDE of this within the same six months and each boss from each progressive organization would vouch for my high integrity and validity rates. I registered voters for EIGHT DIFFERENT PROGRESSIVE ORGANIZATIONS: FSU student groups, ACORN, America Coming Together/The League of Pissed-Off Voters, The Tallahassee Voter Participation Program, The Tallahassee Practical Law Enforcement campaign, The League of Women Voters, The League of Conservation Voters and Coalition of Active Voter Education. Each praised me for my integrity and high validity rates. Each would vouch for me because I drive people crazy with my integrity, honesty and high standards. They can each be my defense witnesses for GOOD CHARACTER ON VOTER REGISTRATION ALONE. Anyone who knows me can vouch for my high integrity, honesty and standards. This is outrageous and must be a personal vendetta.

Eighth group of people who victimized me: This has to be a personal vendetta. The prosecution is unreasonable and biased. This person might live in Metarie, LA. Please prosecute this person. We will sue.

A final sticking point is a third or more of the registrations were from the black campus, FAMU. All the registrations done at FAMU were done by black guys because they REFUSED to work anywhere else, because they knew it was easier to get other blacks to help them. They did not like working on the white campuses because they did not do as well on white campuses. No white workers worked at FAMU. A couple tried but it was too hard so they went back to the white campuses. So it’s not what it looks like.

I am an absolute victim in all this. This is COSMIC INJUSTICE. I am the absolute, innocent victim. It’s extremely unfair Ion Sancho’s personal agenda makes me suffer. This was always HIS PERSONAL AGENDA. Investigate him instead and charge him for psychological distress and torture. I spent every day for the last 16 years on hardcore leftist activism and 24 days of my life doing something I HATED which doesn’t mean anything ESPECIALLY since I had NO IDEA anyone did anything wrong. You cannot establish mens rea. I had no idea anything was wrong. I can call up ten defense witnesses vouching for my good character ON VOTER REGISTRATION ALONE.

Seven Songs Meme!

2008-07-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

Yay! I was tagged by joankelly!

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

Lemme see...

"Ye Ishq Hai", from the movie Jab We Met (have yet to see the movie)
"Koi No Dance Site", Morning Musume
"Brown Skin Girl", Santana feat. Bo Bice
"Let It Roll", Group 1 Crew
"Kiwi", Maroon 5
"Amore (Sexo)", Santana feat. Macy Gray
"New World Symphony", Miri Ben-Ari feat. Pharaoh Monch & John Legend

I tag Latoya Peterson, Angry Black Woman, Donna Darko, To m, YeYe, and you! ^_~

I want to take him home!

2008-07-02T08:22:00.000-07:00

Mauricia Grant

2008-06-15T15:01:00.000-07:00

Let me get this out of the way first and foremost: I know diddly-squat about NASCAR and racing cars in general.

And, if the following comments are any indication of the "NASCAR community", then I would rather not have anything to do with it:

I am tired of black people holding up white people for thier hard earned money....either with a gun or a lawyer....its the same crime...this "get a check for racism" game is old....I like the facts...you should to....but you dont....and its all because "whitey" is a racisist and "de holdin me down"....and the attitude is commonly ghetto black....."they owe me" so I have a right to rob them.......or steal from them....or sue them....they are cowards with no personal fortitude or motivation.....unless it is to get a check....for not working...

Yea the Blacks in America are soooo repressed, That is why a black woman gets a job over a black man who gets the job over a white woman who gets the job over a white man. Oh yea the college funds and government programs that apply easier to some than others I am NOT racist this is fact.

Blacks are given more opportunites that whites in todays world. There are scholarships specifically for african/americans; grant programs for african/americans to get technical schooling free; a Miss Black America (do we have a Ms White America? no we don't cause that would be racist); welfare programs; food stamps; free housing; I could go on an on. If I wanted my kids to go to college, guess who had to pay for it.

The reverse racism is unbelievable. Blacks have the NAACP, Rainbow Coalition, BET, Jesse and Al, UNCF, etc. and none of those are racist organizations, however, any KKK member is racist because he believes in the protection of "white rights." This country remains divided because of the minorities who get the majority of welfare, college scholarships, oh and prison time.

as far as the n word, there is this thing called freedom of speech, people can say what they want no matter if it hurts feelings

I could go on, but there's an ever-increasing urge to punch my computer monitor...I like my monitor. ^_^

Not that these assholes need an excuse to be racist, but the reason they've "got their ire up" this time is the pending $225 Million lawsuit against NASCAR for racial and sexual discrimination filed by Mauricia Grant.

Ms. Grant, the first Black woman official at NASCAR, attended Spelman College and received a degree in sociology from SUNY-Stony Brook on Long Island.

Mo quickly tired of her desk job and adopted her stepfather's passion for working with tools. She was accepted in the Los Angeles Urban League Automotive Training Center and began an internship at Irwindale Speedway.

And she did it the hard way.

"When I started working at Irwindale Speedway, it was because of my own interest," Grant said. "I volunteered to work for free at the Dodge Weekly Racing (Series). It was something that I wanted to do. I was a L.A. girl and there was a short track close by — 30 miles from L.A. It had nothing to do with me wanting to help NASCAR diversify its sport.

"Once I was working at Irwindale and I got real great reviews from my bosses, Magic Johnson heard about me because Shav Glick wrote a story about me that appeared in the L.A. Times. Magic read it and invited me to speak on behalf of NASCAR at an event to celebrate John Mack, the former president of the L.A. Urban League."

When the late Shav Glick of the Times interviewed Irwindale Speedway principals, the reviews of Grant could not have been more admirable.

"Mauricia is a great asset to our officiating crew and to the track in general," track VP Bob DeFazio told the Times. "Her enthusiasm seems perfectly matched by her ability to learn. We've asked the people at the Automotive Training Center to please send us more like her."

"The best word to describe Mo is sharp," Director of Racing, Lester Boyer told the Times. "She's not only one of the hardest-working track officials, she's the most friendly. Tech inspection is always an us-vs.-them deal, like we're trying to find something wrong with someone's race car. In reality, that couldn't be further from the truth. We just love it when a car sails through the safety and rules compliance inspection. Mo's smile and the way she does this important job just puts everyone at ease.

According to Section 21 of the lawsuit:

Defendant NASCAR hired Plaintiff MAURICIA GRANT not only because of her skills and qualifications as a racing Official, but also as a symbol of NASCAR’s newfound, purported commitment to diversity. Indeed, throughout her employment, Defendant NASCAR repeatedly featured Plaintiff MAURICA GRANT at public out-reach programs designed to convince the media, corporate sponsors and others of the company’s diversity. At the same time, within Defendant NASCAR’s corporate headquarters and on its racetracks throughout the country, there was and remains a permissive and encouraging environment for racial and sexual discrimination and harassment among directors, managers, supervisors, officials and employees of the company against African-American and female employees.

Examples of the "permissive and encouraging environment for racial and sexual discrimination", were name calling ("Mohammed, "Nappy Headed Mo", "Queen Sheba", "Al Qaeda", "Black Sisters Revenge", "Mo from the Block", "Molicious", "bitch," "nigger", "Simpleton"), ignorant comments and questions ("How do you fix that hair?", "How come the palms of your hands are white?", "She's on Colored People Time", "It must be National Minority Day", "You can't possibly sunburn..", "What up, my nigga?"), and unwanted sexual propositioning ("Let me see your tits", "Do you wanna see my dick?"). There are too many allegations to post, but the lawsuit lists everything in excruciating detail. (***TRIGGER WARNING) The lawsuit also states:

123. Throughout her employment at Defendant NASCAR, Plaintiff MAURICIA
GRANT received positive performance evaluations, including from her direct supervisor, Public Relations Manager Doub Hanshaw. On numerous occasions, Plaintiff TRACEY WRIGHT was praised by her Supervisors for her natural aptitude in and enthusiasm for Public Relations, as well as for the excellent feedback Free People received from its media contacts concerning Plaintiff’s professionalism, responsiveness and demeanor.

124. Unfortunately, after Plaintiff MAURICIA GRANT complained of racial discrimination and harassment, she was subjected to heightened scrutiny, unwarranted disciplinary action, degrading treatment and continued harassment culminating in her unlawful termination, in direct retaliation for her complaints.

Ms. Grant was terminated from her job on October 27, 2007 for "poor work performance".

The bullshit...it is strong...

NASCAR CEO Brian France claims he knew nothing about these allegations before the lawsuit.

"If any of those claims turn out to be accurate and have substance, we would have liked to have known about that two years ago, so that we could react and have done something about it because it's inconsistent with anything ... from a policy standpoint about how a work environment for our officials should be," France said.

First of all, I call bullshit. Secondly, given the circumstances, I could see why someone would be hesitant to approach their supervisors (emphasis mine):

40. Throughout her employment from approximately January 2005 through her
wrongful termination on or about October 27, 2007, Plaintiff MAURICIA GRANT was one of approximately 30 Officials employed by Defendant NASCAR for its Busch Series. In 2005, only approximately five of those 30 Officials (or 17%), including Plaintiff, were women. In 2006, the number of female Officials decreased to four when one of the women was fired after she complained about the sexually hostile work environment. In 2007, Plaintiff MAURICIA GRANT was one of only three women employed as Officials in the NASCAR Busch Series.

41. Throughout her employment with Defendant NASCAR from approximately
January 2005 through her wrongful termination on or about October 27, 2007, Plaintiff MAURICIA GRANT was the only Black Official employed in the NASCAR Busch Series.

42. Throughout her employment with Defendant NASCAR from approximately
January 2005 through her wrongful termination on or about October 27, 2007, Plaintiff MAURICIA GRANT was the only Black female Official employed by Defendant NASCAR out of some 75 Officials employed for all its racing competitions.

As long she remained the "poster-girl" for NASCAR's Drive for Diversity initiative and kept for mouth shut, there wasn't any problem. Now that she's asserted herself and is fighting against a racist corporation, "She chose to make this about money and about a lawsuit."

I wanted to get into all of the bigotry surrounding this sport, but I just don't have the strength right now. (I'm sure there'll be quite a few NASCAR trolls knocking on my door as soon as I hit "Publish".) I'm tired. I'm frustrated. And I'm mad.

I think I'll just end (for now) with Bill Center:

“NASCAR races are different for me,” [Milton Hines, the program and operations director for ESPN Radio 800] said. “From officials to fans, I do get looks. I find myself keeping my hands in my pockets. I love the sport, but there are a lot of places I wouldn't go. I'm sorry, but it's just a fact"...

...

I do know that I've heard racist comments like the ones she puts forward in NASCAR settings. And I do know that when Milton Hines walks through the garages at Fontana, he gets strange looks. I've been there. I've seen it.

*Cross-posted at Purple.

*Update (08/09/08): Before you decide to comment do me a favor and READ THE FREAKIN' POST!! And you would really help me bunches if you read what you type before hitting the little "Post" button. I've got comments in moderation from people who obviously has no idea what the point of this post is supposed to be (Here's a clue: I support Mauricia Grant and the lawsuit!) and people whose comments are so confusing that I'm not even sure they're on the right blog! Remember kiddies: Reading is FUNdamental! kthxby

That's Hot

2008-05-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

*h/t to Karnythia

Mental Illness and the Black Community

2008-05-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

"We in the black community would rather say that we have a relative on drugs or in jail than utter the words 'mental illness".
- Terrie Williams, author of Black Pain, on Depression: Out of the Shadows

"You can call it what you want: bi-polar, schitzophrenia, brain/mental disorder, etc., but the fact of the matter remains that this "disease" has been around since the guy in the Bible and back then they called it: possessed with many devils (or in our terms: demon possession). The only cure for bi-polar, schitzophrenia, etc. is to cast these devils out by the power of the Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus the Christ. Medication is a temporary relief, but casting out is a permanent fix, and one has to be prayed and fasted up in order to have power to be able to cast out devils."
- customer review for the book 72 Hour Hold

"Between 1980 and 2000, black male youths aged 10-14 showed the largest increase in suicide rates relative to sex and ethnicity, increasing by 180%. Among 15-19 year old black males, rates have increased 80%".
- "Suicide and Youth", Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network

Thoughts?

Overheard Stupidity

2008-05-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

*In the waiting room at the doctor's office. Made-for-TV movie "10.0", about an earthquake that breaks off a chunk of California, is playing on the television. Two people at the other end of the room are talking...

Person A: ...y'know, like [the earthquake] in China?

Person B: Didn't that kill, like, 90% of the population?

*I take out a pencil and paper, and listen for more gold.

Person A: It was 90,000. (*Note: As of 10:00 AM CST today, the number is at 34,073.)

Person B: Well, isn't that, like, more than half of their population?

...

Although the death toll wasn't that high, it's still very devastating and it continues to climb. CNN has compiled a list of reputable(?) charity agencies that are accepting donations for the relief efforts in both China and Myanmar. If there are any that are not listed, or if there are some that may not be so reputable, let me know.

Oh, I am pissed...

2008-05-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

How can it be that a new X-Files movie is premiering this July, and I'm just now finding out about it?!!! Hmm?!!!?!!

And Chris Carter is coming back to direct!!!! CHRIS FUCKING CARTER!!!!

Internetz, you have sorely disappointed me. Even after I've been there for you and watched you grow up so! [*sniff...] How could you?!!?! My former love is coming back to my arms and you never bothered to tell me!!! WHY??!!?!

Don't apologize now, Internetz...It's much too late for that...Sure, one day, my heart will heal and this betrayal shall pass, but it's gonna take some time, Internetz. It's gonna take some time.

[*deep breath...]

...Now what shall I wear to the premier?

Why Seal Press Sucks, Part Deux

2008-05-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's only a week since Seal Press issued a public apology for the racist imagery in Amanda Marcotte's new book, and the publishers are introducing a new book from two expat [White] Americans entitled (grab your barf bags), Tales from the Expat Harem.

Commenters rightfully pointed out the hypocrisy. Only to receive the following responses:

From one of the authors...

I suggest you read before condemning to understand exactly why that word and metaphor were specifically chosen.

From the publishers...

Tales from the Expat Harem is neither a sexist nor a racist title. Please, let's not look for the racially embedded wrong in every one of our books.

I heart Susie:

"Please, let's not look for the racially embedded wrong in every one of our books."

Because if it's there, you really don't want to know about it. You couldn't be making that clearer. Less than a week after your heartfelt apology, you're given the opportunity to listen to women of color trying to tell you something, and you dismiss them out of hand once again, informing them that you know far better than they do what is and isn't racist. You don't say, "Well, I can see why you'd be concerned about that, but we definitely considered that as an issue and here's why we feel it's not inappropriate." No, you just shut down discussion, and you shut it down by saying explicitly that you aren't willing to accept any consequences, like heightened scrutiny, for the wrong you admit you've done and for which you are supposedly so deeply penitent.

I'm really gobsmacked by this. You'd think common sense would keep you from being this openly arrogant and condescending, if a sense of decency doesn't.

**x-posted at Purple

Update:

From the publishers:

We apologized for the images in the first printing of It's A Jungle Out There. We made a mistake, we've owned up to it, we're doing everything we can to make things right for the book, for the author, and for our readers. We are working to do better.

"Now where's our damn cookie?!"

Seal has been around for more than 30 years. We've published a lot of great titles. We've informed a lot of women's lives.

Their new slogan: Seal Press...Racially-Igorant for Over 30 Years

In the two years since we published Tales from the Expat Harem, we have not heard that this book is pissing people off, let alone that it is racist. Quite the opposite. This travel literature title has received great reviews, has given travelers and arm-chair travelers alike a peek into Turkish culture from non-Turkish women's perspectives. Initially, we questioned the title too, but the editors of this anthology, both accomplished women we respect, helped us to see that from our narrow Westerner lense, the title which made us uncomfortable, was actually, an appropriate way to clarify the female powerbase aspect of a harem.

"The two White ladies who published this book assured us it wasn't racist."

This doesn't take away our mistakes. We realize that. Pushing the envelope is difficult, and we will continue to make mistakes along the way. It's never our intention to offend our audience, but we know that causing a stir, shaking people up, getting people to discuss things that push their boundaries and are challenging is part of our important job. And we take it seriously.

"It meaning making money. To hell with racism!"

Before you accuse us of publishing racist books, I do hope you'll read them, so we can have more informed discussions that we and our authors can participate in.

Anyone else get the warm-'n-fuzzies from this "apology"?

Nah. Me neither.

Letters to Wordpress

2008-04-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

April 5, 2008:

I'm writing to report a blog with extremely racist and
hate-filled content. It's called [name of blog*],
located at [blog URL*]

Section 2 of Wordpress' Terms of Service clearly
states:

"By making Content available, you [the blogger]
represent and warrant that:
"...the Content is not obscene...hateful or racially
or ethnically objectionable..."

I am sure you will remedy the situation.

Thank you!
~ Angel

April 26, 2008

Attached is the e-mail I sent at the beginning of the
month concerning the existence of a racist blog on
your server.

I'm very disappointed that this garbage has yet to be
removed. One cannot argue that it is merely a
conservative blog when categories listed include
"Nigger College" (a euphemism for prison), "Nigger
Fashion", and "Nigger Muddaland"; when titles of posts
are titled "Nigger Wesley Snipes off to Nigger
College", "Count the Deformed Nigletts", and "Nigger
50 Cent Hates Alicia Keys"; and when this blog links
to other blogs called [name of another racist blog*], also
on your server at [racist blog#2 URL]

I'm very concerned that despite your TOS that claims
racist material is forbidden, it is not only allowed
but commended.

I sincerely hope that is not the case.
~ Angel H.

Around the time when The Angry Black Woman's site was recently assailed by White Supremacists, I noticed a comment left by some racist turd with a website URL attached. Since racist trolls rarely leave a valid calling card, I was curious. All throughout the blog was "Nigger"-this and "Nigger"-that. It was beyond disgusting! So I went to Wordpress' main site, searched for the Terms of Service (TOS), and lo and behold Section 2, paragraph 5:

By making Content available, you represent and warrant that:
the Content is not obscene, libelous or defamatory (more info on what that means), hateful or racially or ethnically objectionable, and does not violate the privacy or publicity rights of any third party...

I'll be watching and waiting to see what happens.

*Please not that I didn't insert the name and URL of the racist blog because I don't want to offer them any more traffic.

What Not to do When Talking About Racism

2008-04-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

Ever since the Obama/Rev. Wright incident, people have been talking about ways to initiate a conversation about race and racism. One of the commenters on Karnythia's post at the Angry Black Woman, A. (I'm not censuring; that's her/his handle! ^_^), suggests:

And, strangely, this topic title [How to Derail a Conversation About Race] is so appropriate. This should be put in a list of “What not to do when talking about racism.”

Meme time!!

Title: "What Not to Do When Talking About Racism"

Rules:

Be constructive: This will not become "The Angry White People Show". Only reply if you are genuine, and not looking for a place to air your grievance about what pisses you off about other races. This goes for POCs, too. Leave the stereotypes at home.
Be empathic: Guess what? Just because your life is all "buttercups and daisies", doesn't mean it's that way for everyone. Please, conscious and considerate of that fact.
Be open-minded: ^^^See above.
And above all, THINK BEFORE YOU POST!

Tag: YOU!!!

**Note: I've gotta run, but I'll post my own list and update as soon as I can! ^_~

Update 4/26/08:

What Not to Do:

Don't turn the conversation into the Oppression Olympics*. When people are having a conversation about racism, don't come into the conversation with stories about how it sucks to be a White woman, or a White homosexual, or a White person who's not Christian, or a White person who's not able-bodied, etc. Of course those issues are important, but that kind of oppression is not the same as racial oppression. It's insulting when People of Color attempt their voice their thoughts on what it means to be discriminated against because of your race, and those who have never had that experience say "I know exactly how you feel." It's even worse when that person belittles your own experiences with reasons why we should "get over it" and attemtpt to turn the conversation onto their own oppression.

It would be ridiculous for me to say, for example, I know how it feels to lives as a disabled person because I had to walk with crutches for a short time during my childhood. It would also be ridiculous for me to say that I personally know of the discrimination felt by those who are LGBT because of my experiences with discrimination as a Black woman. It would be extremely ridiculous for me to say that my experiences as a Black woman trump the experiences of those who are LGBT, able-bodied, lower-class, non-Christian, etc.

There is, of course, intersectionality between the struggles of POCs, women, the LGBT community, the atheist and non-Christian communities, and disabled people. But when entering a conversation concerning racism (or any of the other issues), always remember to check your privileges. One type oppression is not the same as any other.

*Oppression Olympics: Where, instead of a torch relay, everyone just fights over the damn thing.

New Blog

2008-02-10T14:41:00.000-08:00

Check out this new blog I've started:

Purple
(woc-unity.blogspot.com)

"Purple" will be a more serious project than this blog is. I'll update (at least) every week. If you have any ideas or you can point me in the direction of some great blogs, that'd be *freakin' awesome*! ^_^

Oh! And one more thing: Blogger or Wordpress???

Cloverfield

2008-01-26T17:01:00.000-08:00

Go see this movie!
DO IT NOW!!!

Favorite Quote

2008-01-26T10:25:00.000-08:00

From Black Issues Book Review, September/October 2007 issue.

Article: "Forty Years of Black-Owned Independent Publishing: Landmark birthday celebration for Third World Press"

Ishmael Reed, poet and author of New and Collected Poetry, 1994-2006 (Carrol & Graf Publishers, 2006). He debuts as a jazz pianist on For All We Know: The Ishmael Reed Quintet (available at CD Baby.com):

August 16, 2007, was a typical day for American newspapers. Blacks were associated with crime, almost exclusively, a pattern that I once thought began with the post-Reconstruction white media until it occurred to me that even before the Confederate Restoration, black were viewed as criminals. Stealing themselves!

Note: Remember that quote the next time somebody dismisses racism because "it was Blacks who sold their own people to the Europeans."

But if the criminal actions of black celebrities - Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, R. Kelly - weren't enough, there appeared more dismal news about black failure, which has provided job opportunities in the media for black "tough love" experts, who comment about black life from Cambridge and Greenwich Village an Georgetown: the gap between black and Latino school test scores, when compared with those of what the newspapers refer to as Asians and whites. Of course, thousands of whites and Asians are doing poorly, as well (see EdWeek.com's annual school reports), but when lumped together with other whites their failures are glossed over. It's like when Bill Gates walks into a bar. The mean income of the bar patrons rises significantly.

What those who support chauvinistic Eurocentric curriculum can't seem to answer is why some African and Afrocentric schools have succeeded where the public school system has failed. Even the Wall Street Journal acknowledges this achievement.* The students under the charge of Haki Madhubuti [founder of Third World Press] and his associates are among those who have succeeded. Mahubuti described his role with the schools as "running interference with the board of education and providing as much 'cultural substance' to our schools as possible."

Madhubuti's four schools - The Institute of Positive Education (1969), New Concept School (1972), Betty Shabazz International Charter Schoo l (1998), and the DuSable Leadership Academy (2005) - expose one thousand students to a curriculum that he describes as essentially "African Centric". By the age of two-and-a-half years old, he says, his students are exposed to African and African American culture in a way that is not "didactic."

"We teach both the students an the teachers to learn and how to love to learn." He credits his partner since 1974, Safisha Madhubuti, with the success of his enterprises. Safisha has a Ph.D from the University of Chicago and two of the principals of his schools hold Ph.Ds.

I asked his why his schools have been so successful in educating black children, especially the boys, while others have failed miserably. He said, "We are not afraid of our children. We love our children."

* Davidson, Joe. "Private Schools For Black Pupils Are Flourishing." Wall Street Journal, April 15, 1987

I Don't Care What Anyone Says...

2008-01-01T17:12:00.000-08:00

Freakin' hillarious!

Happy New Year!

"Happy Pills"/Pills That Make Me Happy

2007-12-29T20:06:00.000-08:00

I hate how when you want to write something important, the words just don't flow as they should, in the order that makes a lot of sense. Bear with me. I'll just start at the beginning:

A few years ago, I lived in another state at attended a small community college part time. Also, I was going to work full-time, so I was constantly busy. I went to school from 8 am to noon, and then I went to work from 4 pm to midnight. I was usually off from work during the week, so I never really had a full day to myself.

My grades were pretty decent, even though I didn't have very much time to study. Whatever spare hours I had was spent resting; I did my homework during my lunch breaks. That is, what I could complete.

I began to miss assignments, and show up late for class. When I would pull into the parking lot, a Fear would grip me and wouldn't let me move. I spent many class hour just hiding in the parking lot. And when I would see people walk out of the building, I would start the car and drive home, as if I'd been in class the whole time.

My Fear began to effect my working life, also. I worked in customer service, and on really busy days with really angry customers, I would leave my post and just go cry in the bathroom. I knew I shouldn't take it personally, but I just couldn't help it.

I began to realize that I'd been having those kinds of feelings for a very long time. I was terrified of failure, terrified of making a complete fool of myself, and terrified of not meeting people's expectations of me. I usually sequestered myself in my bedroom, coming out only to grab something from the refrigerator or to use the bathroom. I'd always been nervous about meeting new people. Then there were the thoughts of suicide.

I can't remember when I first started thinking about suicide. I do know that it was years before I started attending that college. I would sit in the bathroom and cry, and plan how I was going to do it. But then I would back out, and become more down on myself because I felt like I was a coward.

I did discover that I liked the feeling of direct heat on my skin. So sometimes I would hold my hand over direct steam for the soothing pain. Or, I would settle my arm against a hot iron, and I'd take it away before my skin began to blister. It got so bad, however, that when I was at my worst, I began to bite my arms. I concentrated on the pain, and not at the crippling, irrational Fear that gripped my body.

Despite all of this, I never thought - never even considered - that something may be wrong. I remember when I was in high school, and my mom sometimes asked me if I would like to see a counselor. I blatantly refused. I was scared that, if I said the wrong thing, I would be misunderstood and c0mmitted to a hospital. I hated the idea: Miss Overachiever had a breakdown and wound up in the loony bin.

Then something happened.

I had changed jobs and taken the semester off in order to get used to my new work environment. I adored my new position (at the time - but that's a whole other story ^_~), and my new job wasn't as stressful as the old one. One day, a staff meeting was scheduled on my day off. I pulled into the parking lot about 5 minutes late.

And I couldn't move.

My heart was racing. My knuckles were turning white because of my grip on the steering wheel. My breathing was fast...I was terrified.

I didn't understand it. It had been weeks since I last felt The Fear. I thought that changing my pace by not going to school that semester and switching jobs would help, but there it was again. That's when I realized that I really needed help.

I drove back to the house where I lived with my parents, and told my mom everything. About skipping class, about the pain, and about The Fear. She suggested I go see a doctor, who diagnosed me with depression and generalized anxiety. He gave me a prescription, and I was to increase the dosage over time, until I felt comfortable.

I'm not going to lie: The first night I took those pills was a blast!

I was so freakin' high! I remember a comedian who once said, "Have you ever felt so drunk that you're holding onto the ground so you don't fall off the Earth?" That's exactly how I felt! I was woozy and dizzy; I laughed hysterically at the smallest thing! I was having a blast!

That initial high lasted for about 3 days. Then, my brain and my body got used to the medication and I had fewer bouts of depression and anxiety.

At the time, I was doing well at my new job, and I rented an apartment of my own. Even though I made a little more than at my old job, money was still tight. Aside from rent and utilities, one of my biggest expense was my medication. One day, I realized that I needed to sacrifice my meds to pay the rent. I went without them for a couple of weeks; I had convinced myself that maybe I didn't need them at all.

That's when I started biting my arms again.

I began to snap at the slightest upset. I cried at the drop of a hat. At times, I couldn't even get out of bed because of The Fear.

My mom noticed a change and asked me about it. When I confessed about not taking my meds and how I began to hurt myself, she gave me the money to go refill my prescriptions. After the medication was back in my system, I came to the conclusion that I had to accept the fact that what I was dealing with was, in fact, mental illness. My mind was wired incorrectly, and it was the medications that stabilized me and allowed me to function in my everyday life.

The reason I posted this story (sorry if it's "tl;dr") is because mental illness, and the medications used to treat it, is still stigmatized in this country, despite the fact that more people are taking antidepressants than ever before.

Having depression isn't just being in a bad mood. (Have you ever had the urge to cry, even though, at that moment, there was nothing to cry about?) Having anxiety attacks aren't just a case of the "heebie-jeebies". (Y'know how when someone sneaks up on you, you become startled for a moment? Your heart races and your breath catches, but after you realize there's no danger, you calm down. Imagine if you never calmed down. Imagine if there was nothing to startle you in the first place. Imagine waking up from a peaceful sleep with an unexplainable fear so incapacitating that you can't even get up from the bed.) It's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes people feel things that they shouldn't. Being terrified of absolutely nothing isn't normal. Having thoughts of suicide on a daily basis isn't normal. My brain is not normal.

If you're reading this, and you have had thoughts of depression or anxiety, and have used methods like relaxation techniques, exercise, change in diet, or other homeopathic remedies to feel better, good for you. I've tried many things besides the medication. Unfortunately, it's the meds that keep m relatively sane. I've had people tell me that all I need to do is pray and that God will clear my mind. I've had people tell me that I just need to be more active. How can I be more active, if I'm too terrified to get out of bed in the morning? How can I pray when I'm so out-of-whack at times, that I can't even form a coherent thought?

I'm not going to pretend that pharmaceutical companies don't make big money on "treating" illnesses and not "curing" them. I also know that there are doctors out there who get a nice little stipend for a every prescription they write. Yes, it sucks ass. But for me, it's working.

The reason I'm posting all of this was because of a couple of posts over at Feministe. Kactus wrote a brief post about how she finally found a doctor who was actually willing to listen to her complaints and not just attribute her illness to being "fat, female, and over 40." (I know how that is, except for the age 40 part. *ducks rotten tomatoes) Her new doc prescribed her medications to deal with her depression, and aside from the side effects, she's doing better. Unfortunately, there are people out there who think that, despite not knowing you, not being a medical professional, and not living in your body, they can tell you how you should treat your illness.

Fuck 'em.

Y'know what? There are people out there who can take a teaspoon of NiQuil and be up-and-at-'em the next morning. There are others, however, who need to a humidifier, a kettle of warm tea, and a bucket of antibiotics just to feel well enough to go back to work in a week. People are more accepting of that reality than the reality of clinical depression. It's called mental illness for a reason, people!

Back to work tomorrow :-(

2007-11-25T22:56:00.001-08:00

I Don't Care What Anyone Says...

2007-10-16T21:23:00.000-07:00

You never get over your first crush...^_^

(@ 1:12) *sigh...Damn that man!

hey y'all...

2007-10-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was robbed at gunpoint.

The Truth of Jena, Louisiana

2007-10-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

So I was reading about how the mayor of Jena, La. is all butthurt (learned a new word - Thanks, Shannon!) over John Mellencamp's new song.

"The town of Jena has for months been mischaracterized in the media and portrayed as the epicenter of hatred, racism and a place where justice is denied," Jena Mayor Murphy R. McMillin wrote in a statement on town letterhead faxed on Friday to The Associated Press.
He said he had previously stayed quiet, hoping that the town's courtesy to people who have visited over the past year would speak for itself. "However, the Mellencamp video is so inflammatory, so defamatory, that a line has been crossed and enough is enough."
...
A brief note from Mellencamp posted Thursday on his Web site says he is telling a story, not reporting. "The song is not written as an indictment of the people of Jena but, rather, as a condemnation of racism," it says.
...
Mellencamp's song opens, "An all-white jury hides the executioner's face; See how we are, me and you?" As he sings, images of Jena, the high school and the tree are followed by video from the 1960s, including civil rights marchers, police beatings, and President John F. Kennedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King speaking. Still images include one of a protest sign reading, "God demands segregation," a stylized drawing of people in Ku Klux Klan robes and an older image of a black man in shackles, begging.

"I do not want to diminish the impression that the hanging of the nooses has had on good people," McMillin wrote. "I do recognized that what happened is insulting and hurtful."

But, he said, "To put the incident in Jena in the same league as those who were murdered in the 1960s cheapens their sacrifice and insults their memory."

Is it just me, or should McMillin have just s.t.f.u.?

Anyway, at the end of the article is a link for the Jena, Louisiana website.

I know, right? Jena has a website?!

When you click on the website, be careful, because it almost crashed my browser. Not because the front page is anything to look at. As a matter of fact, it probably looks exactly like the front room to the mayor's office, or when you open the door to the city hall - old beige wallpaper, half-assed attempt to make the area look "homey", that dingy-musty smell, and rust stains on the ceiling tiles. (Okay, so I let my imagination run.) There's an embedded .wav file of a gavel banging (ironic, no?), and you're greeted by four pictures of three people (someone screwed up and put up 2 pics of the same person). You see their names but not what they do. For some reason, they're all wearing red polos. In the middle of the page, is a Javascript-thingy of what looks to be minutes from the last city council meeting. Too bad it hasn't been updated since 2003. If you're like me, you seen all you can see, and you begin to look for something remotely interesting. I clicked on the link to the Mayor's Notes at the bottom of the page.

A train whistle? The hell?

Ginny's Restaurant...J.H.S. Alumni...Maytag Laundry...What's Wrong With Black America....

Whuuuuuuuuuhhh??

Mixed in with links to Favorite Recipes, Ms. Billies Etiquette 101, Piano Lessons, and LaSalle Florist are:

What's Wrong With Black America?:
JENA SIX / Al Sharpton (This one made me nauseous)
And, on a completely different tangent...or is it?...."Australia Boots Muslims":

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this.
But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,
'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'."
"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE.
We didn't force you to come here.. You asked to be here.
So accept the country YOU accepted."
Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, Canadian, American and European citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voting the same truths!!

Now, what was that McMillin said? Oh right! I remember:

"The town of Jena has for months been mischaracterized in the media and portrayed as the epicenter of hatred, racism and a place where justice is denied."

No, I think we've got it about right.

(Update, 10/07/07: Following Rachel's lead, I've decided to post a link directly to the song since some dork on YouTube thinks it's "inappropriate". The song is gorgeous!)

Pleajhai Mervin, broken wrist

2007-10-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

I've been moving from blog-to-blog, message board-to-message board and the whole "what about the guard?" thing has really pissed me off!

I work in a youth development center for juvenile offenders - kids who have done anything and everything from armed robbery to murder to sexual assault. Even though I work in the office area, I still had to be trained on how to restrain a child should the need arise, and the restraint techniques are designed NOT TO INJURE THE CHILD if used properly.

The guard was an asshole, a racist, and a bully. Bottom line.

Dear Jerk...

2007-10-03T17:49:00.000-07:00

If I'm doing everything in my power NOT to catch your eye, I DO NOT WANT YOUR ATTENTION!

If I turn the volume on my iPod and headphones so loud that the people around me have to talk over it, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!

If you tap me on the shoulder and I look as though I want to smack you with my 5-lb. Physics book, I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOU!

JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? If I see one more blown kiss come my way, or if I ever hear you call me "BABY", or if you even THINK about touching me again, YOU BETTER HOPE AND PRAY THAT I'M NOT CARRYING ANYTHING SHARP.

OTHERWISE, YOU'RE WALKING HOME WITH ONE LESS TESTICLE.

The Fat Police

2007-09-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

Via Big Fat Blog:

So there’s this guy sitting back and apparently trying to decide how he should personally police fat people. He’s come up with the idea of handing out some kind of ticket.

What we probably need is a stand[ard] letter ( fre[e]ly downloadable) you can give to fat people ( especially work mates, mates and family) that points out they are overweight and that it damages their health, but also that you want to help and asks them what help you can be: perhaps they want an exercise buddy, a councillor, someone to visit a diet group with, or a fuck buddy to help screw the excess pounds off? Perhaps not so stuck on the last one……

But Im very aware that nagging does no good but, also, that ignoring obesity can be mistaken for affirming and accepting it

Jessica has the perfect response:

This is why I love living in Minnesota, where there IS, in fact, a “conceal and carry” law.

BAM.

Dead asshole.

I Don't Care What Anyone Says...

2007-09-24T17:22:00.000-07:00

Para para is fun!

Now, you try it...

...And be sure to invite your friends!

Psst...Guess what?

2007-09-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday!

Mr. D and the Jena 6

2007-09-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you about one of my coworkers, "Mr. D":

Mr. D is a White, middle-aged man of average height and average build. He is a hardworker, always ready and willing for whatever task is set before him. He and his wife of many years raised their now adult daughters in a loving, Christian household. Mr. D is kind, caring warm-hearted indivual.

And today, I realized that he's pretty damn smart, too...

I was working out of the office yesterday, but Mr. D told me what had happened. Apparently, he had been confused about the situation down in Jena, LA and why there was a need to protest. He'd watched the recent (i.e.: only) news coverage, and he couldn't understand the "noose vs. 6-to-1 fight" situation. Instead of just blindly accepting what was given to him, Mr. D followed his instincts...

...and researched!

He found out about the White Tree, the so-called "Tree of Knowledge" that was planted in the courtyard of the Jena High School. He found out about the black studentss that staged a peaceful sit-in around the tree after the nooses were hung in defiance of the intimidation. He found about the assembly in the school's gym with the police and the Disctrict Attorney who recently went on television and said that "this is not about race", but told those black students that "with a stroke of my pen, I can make your lives disappear."

Mr. D also found out about when Robert Bailey, Jr. attempted to enter a mostly White party, he was beaten by a group of White youths with beer bottles. They were charged with simple battery and given probation. The next day Bailey was threatened with a gun by a man who attended the party, yet Bailey was charged with stealing the weapon.

Mr. D discovered all of this and more. He searched and read. And, being a Christian man, he prayed.

When I came in to work, I greeted him as I always do. He noticed me noticing what he was wearing. He said, "Well, I know I'm a day late. But I still wanted to support them."

He was wearing a black t-shirt.

This just in: Dumbass Quote

2007-08-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

Why? Because I have to:

When I was a teen I used to have asian guys, white guys, hispanic guys, and black guy after me....so I'm guessing they werent sitting around JUST desiring the hot white girls that I went to school with. I always think affirmative action is silly because I've done some weird shit to people and because I'm a young woman they dont care.

Just because guys of all races want to stick it in you does not mean that race relations are all okey-dokey then. 'Kay?

Somebody loves me!

2007-08-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

I found this link via Racialicious. I wish I would've caught it when the story was fresh, though.

Some chick who calls herself the Advice Goddess (but looks like the Darlene McBride character from MadTV) was tickled by the column written Erin Aubry Kaplan about the ad campaign for the fragrance called Alabaster.

...The problem is that the Alabaster ad circumvents imagination by giving us photos of an overtly sexy, nude, pale, very blond woman who somehow leaves no doubt as to what Alabaster is: white skin and, more broadly, whiteness. This scent celebrates not stone, not sculpture, not sand, but more likely cloistered, fair-skinned maidens and even Southern belles.

And?

Not that this perfume actually "celebrates" whiteness, as far as I can see, but people celebrate being black all the time. I'm white as a sheet of typing paper. In the name of "diversity" -- which is what they call minority-only journalism programs instead of calling them what they really are (racist) -- people are allowed to celebrate blackness, Asian-ness, and every other race or color, but, what, whiteness is supposed to be shameful?

Oh yes, children. I had fun!

I even made a friend:

Angel -

I have a suggestion for you.

Die.

You are oppressed only because you choose to be. You derive more self-worth from playing the victim than you do from simply living. And since you have become complete defined by being oppressed, there is no hope for you. You have completely closed your mind to opportunity, and if it ever crosses your path, you will not even know it is there. I'd say I feel sorry for you, but you would just accuse me of oppressing you with my condescension.

You told me all I need to know about you right here:
You say that you never realized you were different until somebody else told you. Other women of color and I are constantly surrounded by that difference. If you were to turn to any channel on television, open up any magazine, turn to any radio station, you could see or hear somebody white. It would have been easy for you to imagine yourself in that person's place. But somebody told you that you were different, and that you weren't one of them.

I didn't need anybody to tell me. I knew it all along.

And you failed to learn the appropriate lesson. The two most important words you will ever use when someone says you can't do something:
Fuck you.

I think he's really into me! ^_~

Elric66 is a White Supremacist Douchebag

2007-08-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

(Before I get started on the big "Issue" that's been buzzing around lately, I've got to talk about this dork, because his garbage has been stinking up my "Comments Mod Holding Cell" for days.)

So I was checking out Rachel's Tavern and she had posted about the series God's Warriors on CNN. (I had wanted to see it, but then I forget when it came on. Also, I stopped caring.) Then a couple of turds named Bill and Elric66 started flaming Rachel with some anti-Muslim crap. She banned Bill first, and then Elric66 accused her of suppressing free speech or some stupid crap like that. He posted a link to some website right before she banned him. The site was called - get this - WeaselZippers! I wish I could make this shit up!

I don’t know what’s more pathetic: Elric66’s dumbassery or the fact that he actually expected us to take a post from “weaselzippers.net” seriously.

That was me, by the way. Apparently, I hurt his widdle feewings and he followed me to my blog. He left this gem:

Couldnt comment on the Qur'an verse where Allah command Mo to conquer the infidels and give them the option to submit, convert or die? Sounds like dumbassery to me. :-)

Elric66

You do know Muslims still practice slavery today and Mo had alot of slaves, right?

Mistake #1: Asshole actually tried to post it in my post about the "Missing Minorities" blog. Oh hellz no.

Mistake #2: Did douchebag actually think he could favor with me by bringing up slavery?

Let us all point and laugh! Laugh at the little turd! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!!

wooo....that was funny.

(Note, 12/21/07: Douchebag left a couple of new comments that he was stupid enough to believe would get posted. Also, isn't it ridiculous how racists are so quick to claim that everybody else is racist?)

(Note, 12/23/07: Y'know how when you're walking along and you notice a mangy, flea-ridden mongrel start to follow you. Now don't get me wrong, I love all animals, but...well. Anyway, you shoo him away, but he keeps tailing you. You pity the poor thing, but you don't have any food in your pockets, so you just ignore him and hope for the best. Elric66 has become my little flea-ridden mongrel, following me with his tail between his legs...Also, ever notice how people whine about free speech when you won't let them leave dumbass comments on your damn blog?)

(Note, 12/24/07: Elric66, get a life. Srsly. Preferably one that doesn't include me. Your cries for attention are pathetic; I didn't even read that last comment you sent me. One click: In the trash. This thing you have for me, it's cute, but it's really time for you to move on. You'll find a another Black feminist liberal to stalk, I'm sure. Just hang in there, buddy. I'm rootin' for ya!...Actually, no. I'm not.)

This is why I went away...

2007-08-26T16:50:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I was visited a blog and a person left a comment that seemed really, really stupid to me. I mean really, REALLY stupid. I won't go into details, but I blew up and said some ugly things. I even cross-posted what I said at that blog back onto this blog.

Things got out of hand. I was angry. I was shaking. I didn't even know where all of that was coming from. I apologized for the harsh way that I expressed myself. I deleted the post. And then I decided to step back and just take a breather for a little while.

Here are a few things that have happened:

I've learned a lot from some incredible people out there. They have been kind enough to share their stories with me, and for that I will always be grateful. However, I need to step out a little more outside of my comfort zone and find the truth for myself, and not always listen to what others tell me It may take me awhile to reach that same level, but I'll get there, slowly but surely.

Sometimes my emotions speak louder than my words. Sometimes, it's a good thing; other times, things can get ugly. I always mean what I say, but I may not say what I mean. See? I will try my hardest to stop, breath, and think before letting my fingers touch the keyboard......unless you're really asking for it.

I've had a lot fun, keeping in contact with some really great people, tearing up some trolls, pissin' off the establishment. I know we can rock the world and put the planet back in order before Bush and his cronies blow us into the next ice age!

**New Things!::
A blogroll!

...And I can't think of anything else right now, but woo-hoo!! I'll be adding a blogroll! Watch your comment boxes! =D

I'm back and I'm pissed

2007-08-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

That's all you've got to know.

Awesome New Blog

2007-07-21T17:14:00.002-07:00

Just stopping by to plug this great new blog:

MISSING MINORITIES

"This website is to inform of missing minorities in the hopes that someone out there knows something. Too many times missing minorities are not addressed in national media."

Thanks to Tom for the link!

Announcement

2007-07-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

Closed temporarily for retooling.

I'll still be accepting comments, but I won't post any new stuff for a while.

Laterz.

My First Meme!

2007-07-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Tom with my first ever meme! Yay! It's called "8 Things You Don't Know About Me". Here are the rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Okay, where to begin...

My bedroom is a mess. I mean a "state of emergency", "disaster area"- type mess. But I know exactly where everything is!

I love to cook! Unfortunately, everyone else hates it when I cook.

I recently bought my first swimsuit in over 10 years. I look so cute in it!

I finished crocheting my first bag a couple of days ago. I made the handle too long.

I want to be a bellydancer!

I'm serious dammit!

I've written "Gargoyles" fanfiction and drawn some fanart as well. Post a comment and I might give up the links! ^_~

I'm not wearing any underwear. It's not because I'm kinky; I just need to do the laundry.

I now tag AngryBlackWoman, Carmen, brownfemipower, and anyone else who has ever posted or will post a comment on my blog.

And a Happy (belated) Father's Day!

2007-06-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

Don't worry! I didn't forget my dad! He happens to like his Netflix subscription, thankyouverymuch! ;-p

Happy Juneteenth!

2007-06-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

"Juneteenth is the oldest known celebration of the ending of slavery. Dating back to 1865, it was on June 19TH that a band of union soldiers, led by Major General Gordon Granger, landed at Galveston Island, Texas with the news that the Civil War had ended, and was won by the Union North forces, and that all the slaves in the states in rebellion against the union were henceforth, and forever free from a lifetime of inhumane servitude."

Today, many towns celebrate Juneteenth with festivals, parties, and cook-outs. The best Juneteenth celebration I've ever been to was in the Philadelphia. They had all kinds of food, music, gifts, books, clothes, jewelry (I'm wearing the cowry shell necklace I bought that day!), and things to do! Share your own Juneteenth festival stories!

Link Dump: "Because I Don't Feel Like Waiting For Lunch" edition

2007-06-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

You Say Clamato, I Say Oh-Hell-No: It's an energy drink, people! AN ENERGY DRINK!

News You Can Eat>> Blue Bell Cake Batter Ice Cream: This seems almost blasphemous to me. Where's the gooey stickiness of the batter on your fingers? Where's the adrenaline rush as you're being swatted away from the bowl by your mom with a wooden spoon? Where's the tummy rot from the raw eggs?

Haiku Candy Reviews: Candy nirvana.

Bad Commercials & Bad Liberals

2007-06-18T10:30:00.001-07:00

Y'know that MasterCard commercial where the woman gets a pedicure and then buys new red shoes and a new red dress? Am I the only one who thinks she should've gone to the salon to get a better hairstyle "to match the dress, to the match the shoes, to go with the peek-toe pumps, to go with her new pedicure"?

* * * * *

The Field Negro writes about the indignation White "kossacks" feel at the very suggestion of reading blogs written by Black people. Quelle horreur!

Link Dump: "Half-Assed Apologies" edition

2007-06-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

"Every order is deliverd via rickshaw by first generation Chinese immigrants... We really should charge more for delivery, old Chinamen are getting expensive these days." That was just a sample of the offensive advertizing for a restaturant in Tuscon, Arizona called Eggrolls, etc. As reported by angry asian man, the owner of the restaurant, Mike Reynolds, has recently removed the offensive language, but has yet to issue a formal apology. States Reynolds:

"I have reached out, but not in the manner they wanted. I didn't show up for a firing squad. I'm not going to do it in a way that brands me as a racist or a bigot."

Truth hurts, don't it?

* * * * *

Yet another campus blackface party. But, wait! This one, unlike the others, was endorsed by the school! Also, this school is a private Christian academy!

The photos, which were posted on the Internet shortly after the June 1 event, show staff and faculty of the small private Christian school dressed as slaves with captions describing activities at the party in Hanford.

"The slaves served lemonade -- it was a riot," read one caption beneath a photo of five women and a man at a lemonade stand. Each had dark face makeup and wore 19th century clothing.

"Someday we gonna be leavin' when a workin' day is done," read another caption posted with a photo of three women holding gardening tools.

W...T...F.

Spencer, who said he was sorry for the controversy, said his school, with a student body of 150, has "three or four" black students. One of those students attended the party. Spencer said that while he is willing to apologize to anyone offended by the skits, he has not apologized to the unnamed student.

"It was not offensive," Spencer said. "And she hasn't asked for an apology."

What a racist dumbass! See pics of the "graduation" at Urban Knowledge.

* * * * *

Another church, another blackface skit. I'll just pass this along to Resist Racism; that article is perfect! In his apology, however, the pastor does realize that "there are those who have been offended."Hmm...How does this put in line with the others? Thoughts?

Goodnight, Mr. Wizard.

2007-06-12T17:21:00.000-07:00

TV's "Mr. Wizard" Don Herbert dies at 89

"Don Herbert, who as television's "Mr. Wizard" introduced generations of young viewers to the joys of science, died Tuesday. He was 89."

Mr. Wizard Studios

First Paris gets sent back to jail, now this!

2007-06-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

Georgia Judge Voids Sentence in Teen Sex Case

"A judge on Monday voided a 10-year sentence for a man accused of having consensual oral sex with a 15-year-old girl when he was 17. He instead gave Genarlow Wilson a 12-month misdemeanor sentence with credit for time already served, and ordered him released."

Update (1:32 PM):

Now, Hold on There!

"A judge on Monday threw out the 10-year sentence against a 21-year-old for a consensual sex encounter he had as a teenager. But the state attorney general quickly filed a notice of appeal, keeping Genarlow Wilson in prison for the time being.
The prosecutor's move brought an abrupt halt to the jubilation Wilson's mother, Juannessa Bennett, and his attorney, B.J. Bernstein, were feeling, and the plans they were making for Bennett to be reunited with her son.
'It is extremely, extremely disturbing that the attorney general would take this action now,' Bernstein said, adding that she did not know what message 'he's trying to send' or 'who he's representing.'"

I'm a Freakin' M&M!

2007-06-10T11:53:00.001-07:00

Link Dump: "Damn ignint people!" edition

2007-06-10T10:39:00.000-07:00

I guess she isn't a fan of Sir Mix-a-Lot: "It's fairly common knowledge that many black (and Hispanic) men prefer their women larger than do other groups, a reality that launched [Buffie the Body] on her path to glory. It is perhaps less well known that that preference has contributed to extremely high levels of obesity among black women."

brownfemipower writes in response to hate mail from men of color: "Not one woman of color denies that women in her particular community have been brutalized. But to use one part of our history as proof of the inherent evil of the white race does little more than position us as a tool to use in YOUR (i.e. MALE) battle against white structures of power. We are only good for the movement as long as we are submissively down cast, our fierce angry hearts silenced and cold in the name of liberation." Speak on!

From Resist Racism: "This is another example of how privilege blinds (primarily white) adoptive parents to issues that deeply affect their children. My child is an American, they say. My child was legally adopted. My child came to this country legally. Not like those people."

From The Black Factor: "...far too many Black workers have to spend too many portions of the day fighting wild accusations and fighting for the basic respect White workers expect and demand."

Lessons Learned

2007-06-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

One night, I was browsing Feministing and came upon a post by Samhita called Gentrification, Hipsters and "Ghetto Chic" where she expanded a bit on a post by Wendi Muse at Racialicious. In the post, Samhita says (emphasis hers):

A few months ago I was sitting in a coffee shop in my neighborhood, a coffee shop I can no longer go to as I may fight somebody, and this white "hipster" boy sat down across from me wearing a red bandana tied on the front of his head, Tupac style. That's right, he was "GANGSTA." I am not laughing. I shot him the nastiest look and freaked him out so he didn't want to share the table with me, but I was raging inside.

...To move into a community, uninformed, taking from it, not giving back and flaunting your expensive Ipod and "ghetto chic" accessories, is a form of violence.

I may be sounding like a hater, and maybe I am just too old to get it, but I AM FED UP WITH THESE KIDS. I hate Vice Magazine and I hate this attitude that pretty much says, "I am so passed racist, I can act like this." Wake up asshole, look around you, you are part of the problem.

She made a lot of good points in her post. Unfortunately, many people identified too well with the hipsters:

I was walking around Brooklyn the other day with a red bandanna popping out of my back pocket that I always keep on me to tie my hair up in case it gets hot. A guy straight up had to tell me to take it out because I was apparently signaling that I was a Blood. Am I ignorant? Yes. Is it my fault that I didn't know what a red bandanna out of a pocket meant? Not really - I grew up in the whitest suburb known to man. How the fuck was I supposed to know that? It's not like there's a nation of hipsters out to get you, dude. Sometimes, we just don't know. Can someone please send me a list of shit that middle class white people aren't allowed to wear so I don't inadvertently piss someone off?

It's just clothes. Don't be so petty. They're are more important things to worry about if your pullin out the gentrification card...

well, if I see anyone wearing a pair punk pins and they are not punk, I guess I should get offended when they come into my punk neighborhood. I guess they are taking a form of violence against my culture... oh wait, i'm white, apparently I dont have a culture.

If it's not okay for a white person to wear 'ghetto chic" fashion, is it okay for a non-chinese person to eat in a chinese restaurant? the food isn't much like that served in china.

American racial and ethnic subcultures have borrowed from each other from the beginning of our history. Black culture has always been fascinating to white hipsters, artists, music-lovers etc. And black culture is still here!

I'm with you this time, Samhita. Nothing pisses me off more than seeing a black guy walk through my white neighborhood wearing a suit and tie. Leave my culture alone!

Lovely, eh? The comments just get worse from there.

I offered my support to Samhita and spoke up about how all the negative comments reeked of white privilege. That's when everything went to hell...

Within 2 hours of my commenting (keep in mind, this is "blog time"), I was called a troll. After 8 minutes, I was accused of verbally attacking someone and being disrespectful. And, less than 3 hours after my inital post, some racist bitch told me, because of my own European ancestors,

you yourself may need to examine your own contribution to "white privilege." ;)

And yes, bitch added the smiley.

But that was not the end of folks. Ooooh noooo. It didn't stop there.

Jen posted a much-needed editorial on the racist things that were being said over at Samhita's post. She even reposted some of these comments. Of course the ones who made the comments claimed they were being misunderstood, their words were taken out of context, blah, blah, blah, fart.

But then the white posters come in (How do I know they're white? It's the first thing they usually say) to pat the little racists on the head and tell them, "Now, now. You mustn't say those things or you might get into trouble, or hurt someone's feelings." Then the racists are grateful for being treated with so much understanding because they didn't appreciate being yelled by "that crazy person" from the last board.

The hell?

So because I called you out on your own white privilege - that you still refuse to acknowledge - you call me crazy?

The fight went on and I was called harsh, hostile, combative, snippy, sarcastic, belittling, and my feelings were called unjustified.

Swell.

Oh, did I mention that all of this went down on a feminist webiste? Y'know, sisterly love, togetherness, and all that bullshit. Riiight...

But you know what? I've learned something:

Seemingly progressive whites do not like to be confronted with their own racism and white privilege.

I had seen this before, but naively hoped it may only be a troll issue. But learning about the experiences of nubian, brownfemipower, Blackamazon, and others, along with my recent incident, have made me see the ugly truth. Earl Ofari Hutchinson actually posted a great article on AlterNet, stating:
Too many liberals bash Bush policies, cheer Michael Moore, and swoon over Obama, yet see absolutely no harm in racial stereotypes, especially anti-black stereotypes.
The people I came across during the Feministing debacle were so staunchly against the very notion of white privilege, they began to refer to it as "the P word". They felt it was an insult, when it was actually just a statement of fact. Some people have privilege over others, whether it's rich over poor, able-bodied over disabled, male over female, white over black and other people of color. Being privileged doesn't make one a bad person. Refusing to acknowledge the privilege and internalize it by realize that there are others who are less fortunate than you, however, does.

These same white people prefer to be handled with kid glves and will only listen to those of their own race.

To hell with listening to me, a black woman! I mean, what I possibly know about racism and prejudice? I've only lived with all of my damn life. Oh no! You should listen to the nice, friendly white people who are telling you the same things I've been trying to beat into your heads for hours. [/sarcasm] What-the-fuck-ever.

Everyone likes candy!

One commenter was upset because he felt that even though more opportunities should be made for people of color, that shouldn't mean restricting or taking away opportunities from whites. (I know, what you're thinking. Trust me, I do.) Anyway, I offered this analogy that I saw on another blog (if you spot your work, let me know):
Let's say that there are 2 pieces of candy in one house with 2 children. One child has both pieces; the other child has none. The mother takes one of the pieces of candy from the child with both and gives it to the child with none. The child who had the candy taken away now begins to cry, even though he still has his one piece of candy. All the mother did was make things fair and equal. And that's all POCs want.

Whites don't seem to understand privilege until it's taken, or about to be taken, away from them. And even then, all that's being done is evenly distributing the candy.
And it was a hit! Who knew? After this analogy, the commenters almost seemed to come to sort of consensus. The consensus: That they were completely and utterly clueless and felt as helpless as newborn pups:
I don't want to be a kid holding two pieces of candy. I don't want to be a kid with one piece of candy crying because I used to have two. So what do I do? Clearly, this is a big problem and there are steps we can take to be a part of the solution but they're not easy. I don't want to be a racist. So now what?
So how do you convince people to give up their candy?
About giving up the candy: Let me watch you give yours up first, and then we can talk, right?
...and that sometimes the "candy" is bouillion cubes ("it's wrapped in gold foil, it must be candy!!!")?
Sigh...

So, there you have it. I'll be the first to admit I'm still very green in all of this. In fact, I grew up in quite a sheltered life. When I leave the house, I know that things are not all rosy, but it wasn't until I started reading the blogs that I saw how ugly the world can be. And it wasn't just because of the news alerts or the trolls, it was because of the blind ignorance and willfull stupidity of those who are supposed to be fighting alongside of you for equal rights. So, the first thing progressives need to do in order to fight oppression and injustice in the world is clean out your own closet.

Okay...here we go.

2007-06-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

Before I start, just take a moment to browse around my blog.

Go ahead. I'll wait...
...
...
...
...
...
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...

Oh! Back already?

So, whaddya think? Kinda out there, isn't it? I've got some sort of Star Wars thing, something about Disney princesses, and here and there are a few links about racism, sexism, and other "dumbass-ery". I don't update regularly. I don't even have a blogroll. Even the title, Don't Read This Blog, is a half-hearted attempt to warn people not to get their hopes up. So, what was the point?

The reason I started this blog was because I wanted a rant page. Sometimes, when I logged onto feminist sites or other progressive sites, I would leave my computer frustrated because even though - apparently - we all had the same ideals, I felt that my voice was not being heard and I was banging my head into a brick wall. So I started this blog as a way to vent my rage and anger and put my opinions out there for all to see...

...Although, hardly anybody actually views this blog...

...and I really haven't had time to "vent my rage" due to work and school...

This blog is as scatterbrained, as cluttered, and as messy as the inside of my mind. I began to think of this space as a way to gather my thoughts and attempt to learn more about myself in the process.

During this process, I've been thinking about what it means to me to be a Woman of Color. I love reading The Angry Black Woman, Women of Color Blog, and Racialicious, and I've wondered if I can do that. Do I have the eloquence, the strength, and the experience to stand with these sisters and speak up against racism, sexism, and the other ills of our society?

I don't know.

But, I do know that as a Woman of Color I have been, and continue to be, subject to racist and sexist discrimination, prejudices, oppression, and downright ugliness all of my life. And, as People of Color, so has every member of family, and some have shared their stories with me. So, when I hear people denying the existence of such despicable acts against other people simply because of the color of their skin or because of what is - or isn't - between their legs it makes me physically ill. And worse...

It pisses me off.

So here I am, pissed-the-fuck-off, here to offer a few lessons to those who need it. (You know who you are. Don't make me call you out!) Lord knows I'm not the greatest teacher in the world, but I'm sick and tired of the voices of Women of Color being ignored!

Withing the week, there will be a post - or two, or three (I haven't decided, yet) - on the lessons I've learned in my short time in the progressive "blogosphere", and lessons I feel need to be repeated ad nauseum until some of those hardheaded people out there get it through their skulls!

See ya in a couple of days!

Feministing

2007-06-05T12:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who has shown they're support over the debacle at Feministing. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond, but I needed time to clear my head. (And to get rid of that migraine that's been bugging me for about a week!)

I plan on posting further thoughts on the incident for the next Erase Racism Carnival. I'm making notes, 'cuz I want this one to be good.

I'll catch you later! ^_~

Wow. Just...wow.

2007-05-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

TV evangelist Jerry Falwell dies at 73

Umm...I know we're supposed to have respect for the dead and everything, but...What d'ya think...?

Escalator up? Or Elevator down?

Don't Read This Blog

Just Don't F#@& Her!

Reading Project

Racefail in Occupy Nashville

Dear Penn State Students:

Sigh...

For Brianna and Every Other Little Girl in the Same Situation

The Homeless Diet

Vulnerability

Religion in Progressive Spaces

Link Dump: "In Response To..." edition

Beautiful Black Women

Link Dump: "Hellz Yes!" edition

Insults v. Catcalling: The Most Offensive

Lloyd Oliver

Gearbox Doesn't Need Women's Money

Feminist Coming-Out Day

Transgender

A Warm Bed

Link Dump: Blogger is Pissing Me Off Edition

Well, I'm back.

What the hell is this?

Thing That Have Pissed Me Off: August '09 Edition

An E-Mail to the Hollywood Bureau of the NAACP

LOL!!! WTF?

Top Female Cartoon Characters lists postponed indefintely...

WOOHOO!!!!

Top Female Cartoon Geniuses

My bad...

Top Female Cartoon Characters: An Introduction

READ THIS POST!

Fuck you, PETA

A Plea

Mauricia Grant Redux

Yay!

The Incomparable Eartha Kitt

I must be a masochist...

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Why did you vote for Obama?

Tweet, Tweet!

sigh...again

Help Wanted!

Random Ramblings

sigh...

Help Wanted!

Unbleached Cotton/Poly?

PMS Letter: To the Mayor of Nashville, TN

Random Ramblings: Chillin' w/ Granny Edition

Wait for it....waaaiiit for it.....

Advice Needed, PLEASE!!!

Random Ramblings - Menstrual Edition

Diversity Necklace

If this doesn't get you excited about the election...

Worst. Cover. Ever.

I Believe Her

Seven Songs Meme!

I want to take him home!

Mauricia Grant

That's Hot

Mental Illness and the Black Community

Overheard Stupidity

Oh, I am pissed...

Why Seal Press Sucks, Part Deux

Letters to Wordpress

What Not to do When Talking About Racism

New Blog

Cloverfield

Favorite Quote

I Don't Care What Anyone Says...

"Happy Pills"/Pills That Make Me Happy

Back to work tomorrow :-(

I Don't Care What Anyone Says...

hey y'all...

The Truth of Jena, Louisiana

Pleajhai Mervin, broken wrist

Dear Jerk...

The Fat Police

I Don't Care What Anyone Says...

Psst...Guess what?

Mr. D and the Jena 6