"Don't Destroy Our Families Too!"

Once upon a time, a lady named Sara feel in love with a lady named Missy. Missy loved Sara so much that she took Sara's last name. Later, Sara gave birth to a son through artificial insemination, and Missy adopted the son. Yay! The baby boy has two mommies!

But uh-oh! Sara had a roving eye! Missy and Sara split, but now Sara doesn't want Missy to see the little boy!

Now, get this:

Sara Wheeler made the legal argument that, since nothing in Georgia law specifically allowed gay adoption, the adoption should be tossed out...

She hired a new attorney and asked the DeKalb County court to toss the adoption that she had previously pushed for, claiming it should never have been approved because it runs afoul of state law.

It's bad enough when a child is being used as a pawn to gain the upper hand in a divorce or a seperation, but this woman is saying that the adoption should be overturned, not because Missy was a bad, neglectful, or an abusive parent. Sara wants to revoke Missy's parental rights to this child because she claims that the adoption wasn't valid due to the fact that gay adoption is not technically legal in their state! (It's also not technically illegal either.) Not only will this affect their adoption, but it will also affect any other gay couple or person seeking to adopt.

Laura Douglas-Brown, editor of Southern Voice, the [Atlanta]'s main gay newspaper, penned a column accusing Sara Wheeler of "self-hating."

"We owe it to each other not to lash out in ways that damage the entire gay community," she wrote. "Your own family may be destroyed, but don't destroy ours, too."

Read about the rest of this nonsense here.

Here's an Idea...

Every once in while I visit the Readers' Forum at the Mainichi Daily News. Tao, a first-time poster, offered these helpful tips for rape prevention:

• If it is a first date situation. and you are meeting somebody in meat space after getting to know them online.
• Meet somewhere public with lots of people if the person shows up and they are not as they seemed online, leave, because the chance that they have something else then a first date planned for you is good.
• If they grab you, scream for help. Also fight, nothing gets people's attention faster then a fight. I know that in Japan that behaviour like that is not acceptable, but it gets attention especially if you are screaming, kicking,scratching and punching. I will tell you that in my opinion, rape is about control. So if that is the case the potential rapist will leave you alone if he has a screaming wildcat that he did not expect.
• Also I think there are people out there that will help, Cavaliers amongst knaves if you will. Also to that poor girl, i say do not let what you suffered make you blame yourself in anyway, it was all his fault. I believe that no matter what never give up, take what happened and use it allow it to forge you into a stronger person. (He must've been referencing a specific post or article here.)

I decided to add a tip of my own:

• Men: DON'T RAPE!

I'm sure that Tao had the best of intentions, and he does give good, common-sense advice. But, as ususual, it always falls upon the woman make sure she's won't be victimized, instead of putting the pressure on men to make sure that they don't victimize women.

And then the victim gets blamed (cough-Duke Lacrosse-cough) because it's her fault that she wore that skirt, it's her fault she walked down that dark street, or it's her fault that she didn't scream loud enough? Bullshit!

The iPod Shuffle

Since I wanted to post something inbetween actual articles other than more Link Dumps, here are the first fifteen songs that appear when I hit "shuffle" on my iPod:

(Please be cool music! Please be cool music! Please be cool music!)

1. "That's the Way Love Goes" - Janet Jackson
2. "I'd Die Without You" - P.M. Dawn
3. "Untitled (How Does It Feel)" - D'Angelo (How can it be "untitled" when there's a title right there? BTW, is he out of jail yet?)
4. "Strange Paradise" - Bond
5. "Addicted" - Hikaru Utada
6. "I Have Seen the Rain" - Pink feat. her father, James T. Moore
7. "A Woman's Worth" - Alicia Keys
8. "Country Grammar" - Nelly (Dammit! I've lost some feminist cred with that one.)
9. "Karma" - Alicia Keys (Nevermind!)
10. "Dimelo" - Marc Anthony
11. "Givin' Him Something He Can Feel" - En Vogue (I miss you, En Vogue!)
12. "Don't Tell Me" - Madonna
13. "Can't Take Me Home" - Pink
14. "Mr. Man" - Alicia Keys feat. Jimmy Cozier
15. "Kashmir" - Bond

Let's see if you can do any better. In the comments section, list the first 5 songs that shuffle out of your iPod or mp3 player. And you have to be honest!

10th Erase Racism Blog Carnival

The 10th Erase Racism Blog Carnival was posted yesterday at Racialicious.

"The Erase Racism Carnival is a collection of blog posts dedicated to
creating a world free of racism. The Carnival is published around the 20th of every month. The idea is to get more people blogging and/or reading about creating a world free of racism."

There are alot of great articles to peruse. And, I'm proud to say, I've learned a lot this month!

It's about freakin' time!

The Walt Disney Co. has set into production an animated film that will finally featured a Black princess!

I'll say it again: It's about freakin' time!!

Let's take a look back at past Disney princesses to see what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks (Hey, we are talking about family-friendly Disney!) took them so long:

1937: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" is the first full-length animated motion picture to hit the big screen. She later becomes the first in the extremely marketable "Disney Princesses" line of toys, clothes, books, DVDs, games, etc.

We should all know the story by now: Evil witch/stepmother is jealous of SW's beauty and hires hunter to kill her. Hunter is too enchanted by SW to go through with it (punk), so SW runs away and shacks up with 7 old men. Evil witch finds SW, poisons her, and Prince Charming saves SW's life with a kiss. Happily ever after.

First of all, let's start with the name: Snow White. Yes, I know that the original story was written in Europe hundreds of years ago, but gag me! If the name doesn't get to you, then her singing voice will.

And how misogynist is this tale?! Stepmother is so petty that she puts out a hit on her stepdaughter for being too pretty. And the girl runs to the protection of the seven dwarfs only to be rescued by the handsome prince! (By the way, if I open my eyes and the first thing I see is some guy hovering over me, I'm gonna start swinging. But that's just me...)

Is there a moral to this story? Umm...If you're on the run from an old White woman with a shiny apple, seek help from the nearest Prince Charming.

1950: Cinderella, the 2nd Disney Princess, makes her debut. This story, dear children, is all about the bling. (Ew, I can't believe I used the word bling.)

Evil stepmother makes poor Cindy do all the housework while her less attractive stepsisters get to have all the fun. The word gets around that the prince (total hottie!) is throwing a party and everyone who's anyone will be there. You see, Prince's Papa is worried that he won't get any grandchildren, so he set this thing up so his son can get married and move out of his damn castle. (It's like "Flavor of Love" except no one shat on the floor.)

Aw, poor Cindy can't go! Ta-dah! Fairy godmother to the rescue! (Where can I get a fairy godmother? Is there an agency? A union?) Fairy-G gives Cindy hot new dress and a pair of killer, glass Manolos. She arrives and the Prince is like "Daaayuuuum!" and everyone else is like "Oh no, she dii'int!" So, they're partying until Cindy suddenly remembers her midnight curfew. On her way out, she drops one of her shoes. (What does she expect? You can't run on glass!) But the Prince has a thing for feet, so he goes from door to door looking for just the right foot cuz he's freaky like that. Eventually, he finds her, moves her in. Happily ever after.

Moral: Old White women help poor White girls find rich husbands.

1959: Aurora, the "Sleeping Beauty". Disney Princess #3. There really isn't that much to say about her. Cursed when she was born by a jealous witch who wasn't invited to a party. (The hell?) Prince Charming (or was he actually given a name in this one?) saves the day.

Moral: Be sure to invite everyone to your birthday party. Even the freaks. And, as always, a Prince will come and save the day!

1989: The beginning of the Disney musical revival with Ariel, Disney Princess #4, in "The Little Mermaid".

Believe it or not, I actually like this movie. It's one of my favorite movies of all time! I love the music, the characters, the story - this is great, fun, movie! But...

Ariel is sixteen years-old in this movie. Sixteen! At sixteen she swaps her voice to a sea witch for a pair of legs so she can meet - guess what? - a Prince! She gives her up her life, her home, and her voice for this dude she meets on a boat! At sixteen!

The moral: Talk amongst yourselves. I'm too tired for this one.

1991: Belle, Disney Princess #5, in "Beauty and The Beast".
Okay. We're starting get somewhere: Belle is not only attractive, but she's smart and a bookworm. She doesn't fall for the hottest guy in the village. It turns out he's a pompous jerk and Belle, being the intelligent, independent woman that she is don't need no man all up in her bizness. Mm-hmm!

I'm glad that the writers at Disney chose to characterize Belle as a smart, independent woman, rather than the meek little girl portrayed in the original story. However, when Belle is traded off to the Beast/Prince (Another one!), it's almost as if she's being treated as property. He keeps her locked away in his castle, and Gaston (aka: pompous jerk) rounds up an army to reclaim what he believes to be his - Belle.

In the end, it's actually Belle who saves the Prince. But was it just me, or did anyone else like him better as the Beast?

The moral (and it's a good one): Smart girls, outcasts, and misfits don't have to settle. Love will find a way.

1992: "Aladdin" debuts with Princess Jasmine, Disney Princess #6.

Before I even saw this movie in the theater, I knew every song by heart! I sang along through the entire movie! Alas, I know not what I've done with that soundtrack. Or "The Lion King's", for that matter. (Makes a quick dash to place soundtracks on Amazon wishlist.)

Okay, I'm back!

Did I forget to mention that - Omigawd! - they've added some color! Yes! Princess Jasmine is the first Disney heroine who was not White! And she was a hit! So, guess what, Disney? It can be done!

Jasmine is classy, but tough. Agile, yet sophisticated. She doesn't fit into any particular mold, and that's why she is such a good character.

When the sultan, Jafar, and Aladdin (disguised as Prince Ali) argued over who she was going to marry, Jasmine was quick to let them know: "I am not some prize to be won!"

One thing that I can't really remember and I'll have to watch the movie again to find out: Did Jasmine first fall for Aladdin when she thought he was a prince, or was it when he was a "street rat", or was it in spite of not being a prince?

Moral: I can't think of any right now. I've got that image in my head of Jasmine kissing Jafar and all that drool. Yecch!

1995: Pocahontas in "Pocahontas". Even though she's offically a princess because she's the daughter of a chief, she's usually not included in the Disney Princess collections. What? Is a fringed leather dress not glam enough for a princess?

I offer this advice to Disney, free of charge: Never, EVER do another animated movie based on true events. You really dropped the ball on this one.

First of all, as most people know, Pocahontas was a pre-teen (maybe 11 or 12 years-old) when these events took place. Does that look a 12 year-old to you, Disney?

Also, there was no romance between her and John Smith. Disney, it is not necessary to tie in a sappy love story into every single movie! Stop it! Stop it now!

And of course, the story of the Powhatans and the colonists was condensed for time and "family friendliness". There are also too many other inaccuracies to point out here.

Moral: Just stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!


2009: Maddy in "The Frog Princess".

It took them long enough, didn't it? Seventy-two years before Disney created a film with a Black princess! Not only that, but Disney is going back to it's 2D format. Not that I don't love Pixar; it's just nice to see good ol' cel animation again.

I've only got one thing to say to Dsiney about this project:

It better not suck.

Y'know, I really had fun getting nostaligic with the Disney Princesses. So much fun that I'll add a part two in the near future. I'll call it "The Non-Princess Club"!

Click on the pic for full-size cuteness!

(With apologies to and sincere admiration for mimi-na.)

Read more about this topic from other writers:

• Women, Race and Culture in Disney Movies
• The Little Mermaid is a Little Slut
• (added 03/19/07 - Thanks Carmen!) Princess Maddy Repairs Disney's Racist Reputation
  

Link Dump: "WTF...?!" Edition (Part II)

7-year old on dirt bike arrested, cuffed
Those 2nd-graders, man...Ever see the victim of Big Wheel hit-and-run? Not a pretty sight.

Instead of apologizing for slavery, we'll spit on your ancestors' graves by celebrating the Confederacy!
"Although the supporters of the Confederate history bill feel responsible to honor the past deeds of their ancestors through official governmental action, they resist all notions that they have any responsibility to apologize to their ancestors' victims through official governmental action," said Edward Dubose, president of the [NAACP]'s Georgia chapter. "That reeks of hypocrisy."

Professional pick-up artists run woman-tricking business to help guys get laid
Hey! Here's an idea, guys: Why not treat us like human beings instead of notches for your "sexual roster"? And just maybe, we'll think about letting you get near us! (P.S. I know this post is old, but I couldn't resist passing it along in case some people missed it.)

Are Paris & Nicole Counseling a Weight Loss Camp?
Just click the link. Disgusted doesn't even describe what I'm feeling right now...

Chubby child, future hoochie mama?
I'll quote zuzu here: "The hell?" Check out her response, and the response concerning the study on which this stupidity is based.

Women of Color Morphing Into Oppressor Status
Eloquent Feminist of Color brownfemipower posted this article on her blog as a response to online threads created by ChasingMoksha and Heart. (BTW, you aren't seeing double. They actually did give their posts the exact same title) Bint Alshamsha even went one step further.

*Special Post: "Slave Owner's Manual"

(The following pamphlet was obtained by my father during his visit to the National Civil Rights Museum. Reprinted here for the Erase Racism Blog Carnival. Emphasis, footnotes, and links added by me.)

The Willie Lynch Address

Gentlemen,

I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord One Thousand Seven Hundred and Twelve. First I shall thank you, the Gentlemen of the Colony of Virgina, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies where I have experienced with some of the newest and still the oldest methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome would envy us is my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious ing, whose version of the Bible we cherish, I saw enough to know that your problem is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing Human bodies along its old highways in great numbers you are here using the tree and rope on occasion.

I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree a couple miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hanging, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit. You suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed. Gentlemen you know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. I am not here to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them. In my bag here, I have a fool proof method for controlling your black slaves. I guarantee everyone of you that if installed correctly it will control the slaves for at least 300 years1. My method is simple. Any member of your family can use it.

I have outlined a number of differneces amount the slaves and I take theses differences and make them bigger. I use fear, distrust, and envy for control purposes. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple list of differences, and think about them. On top of my list is "Age" but it is there only because it starts with an "A", the second is "color" or shade, there is intelligence, size, sex, size of plantations, status on plantation, attitude of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, east, west, north, south, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action-but before that I shall assure you that distrust is stronger than trust and envy is stronger than adulation, respect, or admiration.

The black slave after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling a self generating for hundreds, maybe thousands.

Don't forget you must pitch the old black male vs the young black male2, and the young black male against the old black male. You must use the dark skin slaves vs the light skin slaves and the light skin slaves vs the the dark skin slaves. You must use the female slave vs the male slave, and the male slave vs the female slave. You must also have your white servants and overseers distrust all blacks, but it is necessary that your slaves trust and depend on us but they must love, respect, and trust only us. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control, use them. Have your wives and children use thme. Never miss an opportunity. If used correctly for one year, the slaves themselves will remain perpetually distrustful.

Thank you Gentlemen.

Cardinal Principles For Making A Negro
For fear that our future generations may not understand the principles of breaking both horses and men, we lay down the art. For, if we are to sustain our basic economy we must break and tie both of the beasts togher, the nigger and the horse. We understand that short range planning in economics results in preiodic economic choas; so that, to avoid turmoil in the economy, it requires us to have breadth and depth in long rang comprehensive planning, articulating both skill and sharp perception.
We lay down the following principles for long range comprehensive economic planning:

1. Both the horse and nigger are no good to the economy in the wild or natural state.
2. Both must be broken and tied together for orderly production.
3. For orderly futures, special and particular attention must be paid to the female and young offspring.
4. Both must be crossbred to produce a variety a division of labor.
5. Both must be taught to respond to peculiar new language.
6. Psychological and physical institutions of containment must be created for both.

We hold the above six cardinal principles as truths to be self-evident3, based on the following discourses concerning the economics of breaking and tying the horse and nigger together-all inclusive of the six prinicples laid down above.

NOTE: Neither principle alone will suffice for good economics. All principles must be employed for the orderly good of the nation...

...both the horse and the nigger must be broken; that is, break them from one form of mental life to another-keep the body and take the mind. In other words, break the will to resist. Now the breaking process is the same for both the horse and the nigger, only slightly varying in degrees. But as we said before, there is an art in long range economic planning. You must keep your eye and thoughts on the female and the offspring of the horse and the nigger...

Take the meanest and most restless nigger, strip him of his clothes in front of the [other] male nigger, the female, and the nigger infant, tar and feather him, tie each leg to a different horse faced in opposite directions, set him afire and beat both horses to pull him apart in front of the remaining nigger. The next step is to take a bull whip and beat the remaining nigger male to the point of death in front of the female and the infant. Don't kill him, but put the fear of God in him, for he can be useful for future breeding.

The Breaking Process of the African Woman
...In her natural uncivilized state she would have a strong dependency on the uncivilized nigger male, and she would have a limited protective tendency toward her independent male offspring and would raise the female offspring like her...We had reversed nature by burning and pulling one uncivilized nigger apart and bull whipping the other to the point of death-all in her presence. By her being left alone unrpotected, with the male image destroyed, the ordeal caused her to move from her psychological dependency state to a frozen independent state. In this frozenpsychological state of independence, she will raise her male and female offspring in reversed roles. For fear of the young male's life, she will psychologically train him to be mentally weak and dependent but physically strong...You've got the nigger woman out from and the nigger man behind and scared. This is a perfect situation for sound sleep and good economics...

(I've ommited some lines, paragraphs, and pages from the pamphlet, but I think you get the picture. I'd originally planned on typing the whole thing, but I began to get nauseous.)

1. Guaranteed until 2012. Then what?
2. "Sins of Omission" by Tim Wise
3. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalieable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." - The Declaration of Independence (July 4, 1776)
   

Am I Digging My Own Grave?

So, every once in a while (almost every other week), I get a migraine. And for those of you who think that migraine = bad headache, STFU. There are times when my migraines are so bad that I consider drilling a hole on the side of my head to ease some o the pressure. Sure, I'd have brain damage and I'd probably bleed to death, but at least I wouldn't have the migraine. And don't get me started on the nausea, light sensitivity, dizziness, and "creeping" pain that moves from her head to your neck, shoulders, down your arm...

As you can imagine, sometimes these migraines are painful enough to keep me home from work. But sometimes, I can feel a bad migraine coming (I think they're called pre-symptoms), and since it's better to be safe than sorry, I call out sick from work. Migraine comes; I take my meds; sleep it off. Then I'm ready for work the next day.

My dad told me that what I should do is go into work when I'm not feeling well, get some sympathy points, and then ask to be excused. If I'm just calling out, then people may think I'm not coming in just for the sake of not coming in. But, if they see me in pain, they'll know the real deal.

That's the way I've been doing lately. Unfortunately, we've been really busy at work lately. Also, there were two other people in my department who were out sick for an extended period of time, and people were questioning their dependability, etc. Basically, I've guilt-tripped myself into coming into work when I shouldn't and staying longer thatn I should. It got so bad one day, that I had to call a my uncle to drive me home in the middle of the day.

Here's where it gets really sticky: I've earned the reputation as The Dependable One. "Call Angel. She'll do it." One the plus side, it's earned me major points. On the minus side, it's seems as though people don't believe that, yes, I have a personal life, too.

I took the week off from work for Spring Break vacation. I went out of town, stayed my sister and her hubby, saw some friends, and had fun. When I came back, it felt as if I hadn't even left. There still so much to do, and even more was piled on top of it.

I'm terrible at time management; I always have. When I'm driving home from work, I think about my homework, my laundry, my shopping list, etc. But when I walk through the door, I grab a bag of chips (or chocolate, cookies, or anything easy and microwaveable) and watch TV until I fall asleep. My health is suffering, my school work is suffering, my social life... What social life?

To my reader(s) out there (This means you! Yes, you! The one who wandered here by accident looking for a more ambitious blog.): Have any of you ever felt this way? Any ideas how to overcome this *thing* that's blocking me? What can I do?